I'm "sick"

3 weeks ago today I was walking at recess and I felt sickness overcome me.  I felt achy (like a fever) and I got a bit sweaty and nauseous.  The last 2 went away quickly.  I think it was a reaction to how fast it came on.  Joint aches continued and by Saturday I was unable to walk in the middle of the night cause my feet hurt so badly. Do you know how many joints are in your feet!  OMG.  They hurt.  I ended up in the ER Sunday evening - Aug 9th.  Since then my life has been a mess. I'm undiagnosed.   I've been tested for Lyme twice, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, Mono, autoimmune markers and now we are waiting for parvovirus test results.  Yes you read that right.  It's not just for dogs.  It's fifth's disease in kids and generally referred to as parvovirus B19 in adults.  If that's negative then they are going to treat me for autoimmune or send me to a rheumatologist.  I'm not going to lie.   I'm flat out depressed.  I cry every single day. I want my life back.  I can't run.  I can barely walk at times.  I have joint aches.  My hand and wrists hurt at times and I have to adjust how I do things because I can't lift or grip things.  I honestly keep hoping I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don't.  Every morning I'm afraid to put my feet on the ground.  Will I be able to stand?  Can I take a step?  It's rare that I'm ever pain free.  If I am it's the middle of the day when I've moved just enough (but not too much) and I have enough pain meds in me to alleviate this.  I hate this.  HATE it.  I don't quite understand how this happened.  Or why this happened.  Or how I should live with this going forward.   For reasons I'm not ready to share, I've always felt like something bad would happen to me when I was 36 years old.  I'm 36.  I started to relax about that because I turn 37 in November.  But here we are.  My life has suddenly and completely changed.   This is where I am right now.  This is why I haven't posted any updates.  And I have more that I can say, but I'm really just too upset to share much more.  I appreciate any good thoughts and well wishes or prayers that you want to send my way.  Thanks!

Canada Trip

It's been a while eh?! :) 

My trip to Canada was amazing, long, stressful, fun, exciting . . . and I came home sick.  Which is probably why I haven't written anything yet. I'm not even sure what to post or how to divide it all up.  There was just SO much. 

Canadians are super friendly and I had no idea that was a stereotype that they lived up to. 

The PanAm Games were crazy!  I'm really not sure if I'd do another honestly.  The equestrian stuff was an hour outside of Toronto where the main Games were held.  However, I heard there was venue 5 hours away, so we weren't the furthest removed.  We stayed in the basement of someone's house and that was very convenient as it was close to the main equestrian venue.  But what I didn't expect was the lackadaisical, nonchalant feeling at the venue.  First of all equestrian events were SOLD OUT.  Yet the stands were rarely over half full for the dressage competition.  For cross country. . . they sold out as well . . . all whopping 5,000 tickets!  Cross country day at Rolex KY boasts a whopping 30K++++   So this felt super duper tiny.  It was also a 2* (though they say a "hard" 2*) as opposed to the 4* of Rolex.  I'm so "used" to the environment at Rolex where the press people recognize each other that I wasn't prepared for the notification of camera equipment getting stolen at various press venues (not the equestrian venue that I know of).  So while the competition felt much more relaxed and not as important as it should have (due to lack of spectators) the media area felt more tense.  Taking your heavy camera equipment to the porta-potty with you because there isn't anyone in the media center you know to watch it is not fun. 

Traveling with many people can get. . . complicated.  On the first day off from equestrian competition, we all ended up in downtown Toronto at the main media area for the WHOLE day which was not planned.  I was not happy about it and all in all it's a day I'd like to forget.  I had no way to leave so I  made the best of it. 

In the "Panamania" area downtown there was an open courtyard area of food, a stage, some sponsors. . . it wasn't nearly as exciting as I expected and there wasn't much to do.  But here I am with Pachi - the mascot of the Games.  The number of quills (41) represent the # of countries competing at the Games. 

It was in this Panamania area that I had my first Canadian beer. 

I photographed gymnastics that day and will likely share some photos in another post.  It was super fun and challenging.  But again the whole day was way longer than I expected and I was unprepared for that. I'd have packed for the day differently.  Ending the day eating dinner @ McDonald's at 10 pm is not exactly the "Canadian" experience I wanted to have.  But moving on! 

I did get to try Poutine - fries, gravy and cheese curds. 

It's ok.  Not sure I like the flavor of the gravy. 

I did get to try Ketchup chips! :) 

They were shocking at first. I actually said "just drink the ketchup from the bottle".  But they grew on me.  I don't know why they aren't sold here. . . 

I also got a red velvet oreo McFlurry from McD's.  Though it was not during that horrible day mentioned above.  It was yummy!

On cross country day, my husband was with me. . .  our lunch was corn in a cup.  We chose the Canadian flavor option.  It had maple syrup, dijon mustard and maple butter.  I cannot describe it.  It was actually *really* good. 

I'll leave you with that for now.  I will make another post with some competition photos and another regarding our trip to Niagara Falls! :)

New PRs and a holiday weekend

This was such a busy weekend and at the same time I felt like I didn't get anything done!

First I got off work on Thursday at 11:30 AM.  We were given 3 hours off and I didn't take a lunch.  I went to the park in town to do 3 miles before going to ride Eli.  It started off amazing and just stayed that way.  It was cool and overcast.  There was  fine mist at the beginning.  Perfect running weather.  Just over halfway through my Garmin beeped that the battery was low.  OMG.  I knew I was on track for my fastest 5K.  I just hoped the battery would last.  Thankfully it did!  I am so tickled with this pace.  It actually felt easy.  Now the rest of my runs this weekend were not like this.  But I'm hoping that I'm onto something and will need to re-evaluate my goals.

Then I went to the barn and I just had a great ride on Eli.  He's 20 now and things haven't been so good.  But he gave me such a great ride.  Great way to start my weekend!

It was a busy week and my 7 day fitbit step total was the highest I think it's ever been on Friday.

114K!  Usually breaking 100K takes some effort or some long runs.

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On Friday we had tickets to the Cardinals game.  We were going with my parents and it was their first time at this Busch Stadium.  I believe this is the 3rd Busch Stadium, but I'm not sure.  It opened in 2006.

We had fun!  There were fireworks after the game.  They do such a good job of this and everyone has a great seat.  It's fun to just sit there and wait for the lights to go off and the fireworks to start.

My mom took this photo of us.  I don't really love it.  I think it makes both of us look heavier than we really are. She got close (as opposed to zooming in) and I also feel like it's shot upwards a bit.   But there you have it. . .

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We didn't have any plans for the 4th.  A friend from my barn gave me some homegrown blackberries and I attempted to make a pie.   I tried this years ago and it flopped.  It was super runny and disappointing.  This time it turned out much better!

But holy sweetness!  I guess cause I don't eat much sweet stuff anymore, this was a shock.  We got some vanilla ice cream to top it with.  That helped toned down those blackberries, but my teeth were still coated in sugar.  Thanks for Carb-Ease Plus from Advocare.  I popped that before inhaling this hot mess of sugar!  :)

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Yesterday I went to the barn to ride and found this:

Swollen knee from a little cut above the knee.  I opted to ride him lightly for 40 mins to see if the swelling would go down.  It didn't.  It did get warm when it wasn't before.  So maybe riding wasn't the best idea.  But Eli puffs up like a stove pipe from the most superficial cut.  So I knew that's what it was from.  I put ointment on the cut and hopefully this is better today.  He was going to give me a really sweet ride so I was bummed that I had to go easy. :(  

Today is someone's birthday at the barn so I made a patriotic cake. 

Now unfortunately it's Monday.  I didn't gain any weight from this crazy weekend when I got on the scale this morning. :)   WHOOP!   I leave for Canada in 3 days! Well the first stop is Detroit.   The nerves have kicked in. 

I went shopping. . . and bought a dress!

I love non scale victories.  I bought a pair of shorts in a size 14 in early May.  I was going to wear them to a ball game over Memorial Day weekend.  I felt they were a bit too big so I didn't wear them.  I finally got my act together and exchanged them last night for a size 12.  Whoop! :)  I love NSVs. 

Since I was at Kohl's and I'm pretty much in need of clothes, I decided to hit the dressing room.  I've always wanted a long dress or a long skirt.  Often they are never long enough for me, but someone told me to go to Kohl's.  I don't "need' a dress or skirt, like I *need* other clothing, but I ended up buying both.  And nothing else other than the swap of shorts.  I gotta work on focusing on what I need. 

So excuse the sports bra and crappy end of day hair. . . 

Here's the dress: 

I often think dresses make me look wide.  And maybe this does a tiny bit, but I knew as soon as I put it on that I liked it!  I have no idea when I will wear it, or with what bra unfortunately, but if I don't wear it by fall I'll return it. :) 

Please ignore the shirt here. . . . 

I bought the skirt and not the shirt.  I don't know if I have a top that will work for this.  So it might go back too.  I sound like a broken record huh?  This shirt gave me no shape.  As you can see I look much bigger in this photo cause you can't see any waist/hips.  But the skirt is long.  And I think I can find something to wear with it.  I hope!  

I'm so not a girly girl so these purchases were almost stressful to me.  But I love that you can return to Kohl's for up to a year and if it was bought on your Kohl's card you don't even need a receipt. 

Rain delay = more workout!

This weekend marked the 5th weekend of a row with a 5 mile run.  That was a goal of mine - one day on the weekend is a 5 mile run.  The other day is 3.  Then there are various 2-3 mile runs during the week.  Since I am not training for anything this is the pattern I enjoy and it doesn't take a huge commitment.  It also keeps me in decent running shape and I'm not burned out like I was at the end of last year.

One of my secret wishes was that the weight I've lost this year would positively impact my running pace without much real effort from me.  I think that's actually happening as the pace right around 11:00 is becoming easier for me.  I think before it was more like 11:20-11:40.

We've had massive rains (yes this is a huge problem for those of us that farm).  So it's been humid even if the temps haven't been sky high.  Of course today we have a heat advisory with a heat index expected to reach 105.  I saw that coming.  Flood us first and then hit us with dangerous heat. Thanks mother nature.

I got up Saturday morning and saw an overcast sky and decided I wasn't pressing my luck - 5 mile run - GO!  I had a great run!  I've been wanting to see if I could get a sub 11:00 avg pace in 5 miles and I finally did it!  I will say that I busted ass on the last half mile cause I realized how close I was to making the goal.  Whoop!

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Sunday morning rolled around and it was a 3 mile run scheduled.  I wanted to hit the pavement early cause I knew I had to clean Eli's stall and I was also going to ride him.  He's been stuck inside for over a week thanks to this tropical storm we've had going on here in IL.  *eye roll*  So I've been working him every day with the plan that he gets today (Monday) off due to heat.    I woke up Sunday morning to thunder. What the what?!  More rain?  Come on!  I was getting ready and my husband told me it was lightening.  Oh well.  I said I'll call you if I want you go come and get me.  I didn't really think the storm would hit us.  My expert meteorological knowledge lead me to believe it would go north of me.  So off I went.  Run!  Run fast! Beat the rain.   I went out a mile and turned around.  I figured I'd go back and forth on my actual road after that to get the distance so I was closer to home should something happen.  When I turned around - lightening!  Then more lightening that made be flinch.  The rain was picking up.  Umm. . . texted hubby told him where to come get me and started heading kind of away from the storm. He got me at mile 2.28.  I was booking it though.  I'm so bummed I couldn't get all 3 in.  It might have been my fastest 5K!

So back to the house we go.  I'm anal - I need to get the rest of that mile in.  But how long do I wait.  I decide to do Chalean Extreme during my rain delay.

Haven't I been blabbing about doing more weights?  Haven't I been promising myself I'm going to build some muscle?  My husband got the weights out like 2 or 3 weeks ago and there they sat.  So I tell my husband I'm going to do this. . . he says the storm is past.  Oh well. . . . my mind is made up.  So I do Burn 1.  Then I go back out and hit another mile.  Holy hell!  My legs felt so heavy.  As you can see above that one mile is much slower.  I'm so sad I couldn't finish those three miles before the storm. There's nothing like a storm coming to make you run fast!  I did 3 miles that way a could years ago, before I had my Garmin and I'm pretty sure I rocked it!  However the rain delay did cause me to workout more than I planned.  So that's a win.  And I'm *sore* today.  I need to commit to continuing with this program a few times a week and see if I can get some muscle tone back.  The scale is sitting still again, back in the 180-181 range unfortunately.  I really would like to see 176 before I go to Canada.  

White pants

I'm back from my quick impromptu road trip to Churchill Downs in Louisville KY. 

I will talk more about my experience when I edit some photos from my real camera.  It was fun and I'm glad I did it, but I think my expectations were much higher. Both in terms of Churchill Downs and that whole experience as well as the Triple Crown celebration and American Pharoah's "victory lap".  Tell me what you think victory lap means in terms of a winning horse.


Churchill Downs has "Downs After Dark" which is night racing.  Apparently that's relatively new to Churchill.  The track didn't have lights for quite some time I guess. This is what my friend told me.  Saturday the theme was "White Party".  They said "wear your best summer whites".   I don't wear white.  Ever.  It's an invitation to spill something on myself.  But I was told from a friend that lives in Louisville that I really really really should wear white.  I didn't want to be the only person not in white. Hindsight is that it would have been no big deal.  Friday after work I went to Gordman's and grudgingly shopped for white capris.   I found an outfit.  The capris were a size 12.  Whoop!  That made me want to buy them even if they were white.  And you know what?  I felt like I really rocked the outfit.  I think getting ready and wearing this outfit was the most fun of the whole day. 

So maybe I'm mocking the jockey, but really I was thinking "yay!  Look at me in my size 12 white pants!"  Ha ha! :)

I honestly wish I had "hair".  Like a cute hair style.  But that is likely to never happen.  Saturday morning I did gel it up and let it dry down. I actually wore it down all the way to Louisville.  But that was all I could handle.  It was a hot day and I had no desire to wear it down once I was outside.  So back it went.  Oh well.   

I got through the night without getting anything on my white pants.  I have no clue why they would have a white theme at a racetrack.  The seats were all dusty.  I had to wipe off every seat I sat on.  No way was I walking around with a dusty butt.  

Now the big question is how do you keep white clothing white?  Do I wash these or get them dry cleaned?  I try not to buy white t-shirts cause I feel like over time they get dingy from washing.  I won't wear these much I'm sure so maybe washing will be fine.   Any advice peeps?  What products to use?  They are so comfortable and cute.  Maybe I'll wear them to a ballgame or something. 

Road Trip!

Impromptu road trip is happening tomorrow!  Where am I going? 

Churchill Downs baby!!!!   To see American Pharoah!    

I found out earlier this week that there is a Triple Crown celebration going on at the races tomorrow night.  I have a friend that loves racing way more than me.  She follows it all year.  I follow the crown races.  So after much debate and feelings of guilt on my part, I decided to skip helping at the horse show at my barn as well a surprise 50th birthday party.  I'm going to partake in a small part of history!  Apparently the triple crown winner takes a victory lap at their home track.  Who knew?  Certainly not me since the last one was before I was born.  But I figure who knows when the next triple crown will happen (though I wonder if we won't have a few winners in the coming years - they sometimes seem to come in spurts as there was 3 in the 1970s) and who knows if the winning horse's home track will be so close to me.  Louisville is 4 hours from me. 

So yesterday we booked a hotel (fingers crossed that it isn't crappy) and we bought reserved seating for the races.  I'm so excited!  I have never been to the races at Churchill.  As a matter of fact, the only time I've been to Churchill was at around mile 8 (I think!) of my half marathon last year.  We ran through the infield.  Though since I'd never been there we took a walk break to enjoy it.  So this will be super exciting. 

I don't normally do impromptu stuff like this.  I also don't bail on commitments.  But after talking to a few people (my husband, my mom, anyone that would listen) I decided that I'd regret not going to see this.  So off we go!