My sweet tooth is crazy strong. My Dad loves sweets too. I blame him as I clearly inherited his sweet tooth. My boss and coworker were in Switzerland last week and brought me back some chocolate. I really wanted a hollow bunny, but it died on the way home. :( (tastes the same though I suppose!)
It's also Easter time. . . the time Baby Binks come out to play. These are usually sold for $1 and they are my weakness. I adore hollow chocolate. I love the candy bunny eyes. These are a smaller size (till too much, but smaller) and I am addicted. Did I tell you I was struggling?
I was working on a fitbit streak. How many days in a row could I reach my 10K step goal. I answered that yesterday. 33 days.
You can see I did not reach goal yesterday (Monday). That was day 34. Bummer :( I had a Dr appt after work. It my yearly woman Dr appt and quite frankly I just drove home after that and I didn't work out. Streak over.
So I try hard not to talk about my relationship issues. I can't decide what I should or should not share. But I guess the thing is, FB is a highlight reel of life. Everything has to be happy and positive. I don't necessarily want my blog to be that way. But how much is too much? I haven't figured that out. I blog not necessarily because I think my life is interesting and everyone wants to know about it. But more because it's almost therapy, like a journal. I put it "out there" and get it off my chest. Who reads it? I don't know. And that's the magic I think.
Anyways, before I met my husband he was married for 4 (?) years. He was a lot larger (I believe almost 300 lbs). He lost weight (65 lbs I think) before I met him. So I've only seen pics of him at his largest. He's joined me on my healthy journey and is currently checking in around 205-208 he tells me. He's the smallest I've ever seen him. But before I met him, he chewed tobacco. He quit before he met me. I think during the time he lost weight. But I've busted him for chewing. I can't remember the first time. I feel like it was in the fall and so potentially fall of 2014. . . maybe fall of 2013. I don't know. But I found a can of chew in our kitchen cabinet (hidden) last fall. I called him on it. I was *not* happy. I don't like chewing. I want nothing to do with it and I don't want him to do it. That it was just another one his lies really threw me over the edge. It's a whole other story but I really think he's a compulsive liar. So . . . last night as I was coming home I stopped at the mail box (remember I live in the country and our box is at the end of our driveway). I opened - no mail. But what was in the back of the box? A can of chew. His brand. His flavor. He says it's not his. I have no logical explanation for why it's not his. But I have no explanation for why someone else would put it in our box. It's not a logical hiding place for him. But . . . people do weird things to mailboxes in the country. I mean other than smashing them. My crazy neighbor (yes he's bat shit crazy) had his box stuffed with shitty diapers. But you know. . . I get it . . it's cause he's nuts and someone hates him! A can of chew? That stuff isn't cheap. Who would just throw it in our box? That would be a waste of money. But why would my husband hide it in the box? I went for a drive after asking him about this. I needed space. I believe it's his no matter what he says. My mom doesn't know - she also doesn't get why it would be in the mail box. But I will tell you this. . . I wanted a soda!!!! I wanted it bad. A fountain soda. My drug of choice. This kind of stress isn't helping me. I didn't get the soda. But maybe I should have. I just came home and ate chocolate. But I've already fallen into the slippery slope of sweets. I don't need to fall of the "no soda" bandwagon too. I've got to get myself together. Any tips and advice for finding my willpower again is greatly appreciated.
