I hate New Year's. Why? Because it marks the passing of another year. Because it shows me 365 days have gone by and what have I accomplished? In 2015 I did work on my health/weight quite a bit and that was good. But really not much else. I have time anxiety. I stress every day over how much time I have left in the day. How much I have to do in that amount of time. And I stress about the overall passing of time and getting older. I'm 37. I'm not where I expected to be in life at this age.
I shared these goals on FB and I'll share them here. My "official" 2016 New Year's resolutions.
1. Continue on the healthy journey I started in 2015.
2. Be thankful for my health each day.
3. Run a 10K race. I’ve ran the distance, but not an official run.
4. Try not to fit so much into each day.
5. Relax about “time”.
6. Think before I speak.
7. Be less impromptu about spending money.
8. Stress less about decisions.
9. Be more organized and reduce clutter in my living spaces.
10. Spend Christmas 2016 in a house. Yes a new house, but an actual house.
Some of these will be much harder than others. And number 10 is going to be the deal breaker on my marriage. If that doesn't happen I don't think I'll be married by the end of this year. So I expect a tough year ahead. I am not looking forward to it.
I'm starting the year sick. I got sick yesterday and it got worse as the day went on. I probably should have stayed home just to rest today but I feel like my husband doesn't support me staying home from work. I have no idea why but I guess I feel like he thinks I should "suck it up" and go to work. After all, back in August when I was *sick* (I wish I had a name for what was wrong with me) he told me to take a shot of whiskey and deal with the pain. So that's the kind of attitude he has. So I came to work. Yay me. Happy New Year's to those of you that are excited about it. I just realized it's a 366 day year. Oh yay. One more day to accomplish my list above.
Have I mentioned before I much I love Quisp cereal? I ate this as a kid and it's been out of production for a long time. I find it randomly at my local Dierberg's. On Sunday my husband did the grocery shopping and told me that night it was back in the store. I'm trying to wrap my brain around what part of him thought it was ok to see it in the store and not buy it?! He said I still had a box. Well yes, I still have a box because I can't find it anymore and I don't want to eat my last box! So yesterday he went back and got me three boxes. I ate three bowls for dinner last night!
Why did I eat cereal for dinner? Cause Roger made soup and it sucked. I have no idea what was wrong with it, but the noodles (Chicken noodle soup) were nasty. It's like there was something wrong with them. Roger choked down his bowl. He was taught to "eat what's on his plate" he said. *eye roll* Umm. . . we are adults now. We choose what to eat. And I choose not to eat nasty soup. Supper has always been a point of contention for us. He wants a some kind of real dinner every night. I don't. We get it spats about it all the time. :(
So today is the last day of the year. . . . I woke up fat because of the above mentioned bowls of cereal. Somewhere last night I chipped a filling in a tooth. And by the looks of it the filling take up most of the tooth, so I'm not sure it will be repairable. I called my dentist at 7:15pm and the message said they were open till 8, but no one called me back. I will be calling them as soon as 8am rolls around. I stress when there is something wrong in my mouth. I keep playing with it. And if I don't play with it and try to be "still" then I feel like I suddenly make more saliva. TMI? lol. I just really have low level stress continuously when there is something wrong with my mouth. Ugh.
Do you have resolutions for this year? I have a couple:
1. Run a half marathon. I'm actually working on choosing one in April. It might be run/walk effort if my knee doesn't hold up. But I'm still hoping that the shoes I have coming mid-January will solve this issue.
2. Be more frugal. I tend to spend money easily. I guess I have a lot of recurring expenses with my horse. But living wise I pay the phone bill. We don't have rent/house payment yet. It's complicated but we don't have an electric bill. I find myself just spending money that I don't need to spend. Honestly I think it's partial depression. Spending money makes me feel good. So I'm going to work on that. I want to bulk up the house building fund anyways.
3. Work on my marriage. Unfortunately this takes 2. I gave up my photography venture for this. So I hope that we make some kind of progress, but honestly my hopes aren't too high. And so along with this is the promise to myself to make some tough decisions if necessary.
4. Stop living such a cluttered life. That t-shirt that someone gave to me 5 years ago that I never wear? Trash it! Get this shit out of my house! I'm trying this already. For example, the game we played at Christmas on Roger's side. . . I just didn't take stuff that I didn't want when I won. His sister had this craft set up to make these snow globes. One for everyone. I didn't make one and neither did Roger. We just don't need that shit collecting dust in the house. We have enough. But I'd say clothing is our worse area. We are both guilty.
5. Eat more clean. I've lost sight of my weight loss goal. While I"m not totally sick over how much weight I gained back I really want to do something about it. I'm still about 50 lbs +/- from my heaviest weight. But I'm about 20-25lbs above my lightest. So I need to get back down some pounds.
Happy New Year to anyone that actually reads this! :) Wish me luck that I get into the dentist today and I don't have to wait till Thursday or Friday.
