Merry Christmas Eve!

It's Chrismas Eve and I feel like I'm about to lose my mind! I over committed to too many things.  I'm tired. Legit tired.  I wake in the AM and I feel like I'm melted into my bed and I can't move.  I think it's just stress and too many commitments.  

Our PTO cut off was the 18th.  So I was off last week, but I'm working this week.  The PTO policy at my work is such a pain in that way.  And I don't want to use 2016 PTO while it's still 2015! So here I am at work this morning - for 4 hours. We have an amazing owner that often gives us "early shoves" when there are holidays.  Today we get 4 hours off.  So I came in at 6 Am so I can leave at 10 AM.  Why?  Because we have to drive to Columbia MO to get Eli from the Mizzou vet clinic.  Last week Tuesday (when I was off) we took him to the vet for further evaluation and we couldn't find anything.  So the next step was a bone scan.  But they didn't have any appointments till Monday.  So we brought him home and took him back on Sunday.  Ugh - just what I wanted to do my last day off work and just what I wanted to do today on Christmas Eve.  But the bottom line is that I will do anything for my pets.  I just didn't "plan" this and so I have to fit it in.  What it really means for me is no relaxation.  I have every minute planned from now till 11 AM tomorrow when we have to be at my mother in law's house for Christmas.   That being said - the bone scan for Eli revealed neck and back arthritis and he got both injected.  That's all we can do.  If that doesn't help him he will be on a daily anti inflammatory to keep him comfortable. 

In the meantime I've been trying to finish Christmas shopping and wrapping and baking.  I *love* wrapping gifts.  I have most of them wrapped.  I also love baking and I hate that Christmas is a Friday this year.  With working all week I've been baking at night.  I felt like last weekend was just too early to bake it all and keep it fresh. 


Last week Friday I made this cake for the barn where I board Eli.  It's a Tie Dye Christmas Wreath Cake that I make every year for the barn.  I love it!  It's fun to make and I add some almond extract.  It was yummy this year and it's gone in the blink of an eye. 

I made these cookies.  They are called Almond Balls, but I need a new name.  They are like a sugar cookie with almond extract.  I got the recipe from a previous coworker.  I hate calling them almond balls because people seem to think they are full of nuts and they aren't.   Have I mentioned I love almond extract. I could drink the whole bottle!  As it is I double (at least) the amount in every recipe.  I count like this: 1 tsp . . . 2 tsp . . . whole bottle.  Ha ha! :)  That stuff is the bomb!

Then I made my Grandma's thumbprint cookies.  She made these every single Christmas when I was a kid.  They bring back such memories and now I will carry on the tradition.  

And last night I made these cream cheese rollups.  They are made with white bread if you can believe that.  I don't have a nice fancy photo of them cause I was cranky as heck last night and snapped a pic when they came out of the oven. I could have used some help from my husband last night make these, but he sat in the recliner surfing facebook on the iPad.   I got this recipe a *long* time ago from my Aunt. She passed away 12 years ago when she was 36.  So this recipe has been around a long time. They remind me of her and while they aren't hard to make and take very little ingredients,  making them alone sucks. 

So the clock is ticking and I have 3 hours till I can leave work and go pick up my baby!  I promised him he'd be home for Christmas.   

Merry Christmas everyone!  Hope it's an enjoyable time with the ones you love. 

Canada, eh?

I believe I mentioned in my previous post that I might be going to Canada.  The "official" word came yesterday.  I'm going to the PanAm Games as a photographer!  Specifically for the equestrian sports, but my understanding is that my credentials will include access to all sports. 

Applications to be a photographer were due last year.  I opted not to apply.  Well not to have my friend apply (she organizes the big bunch of us that photograph at Rolex, and the smaller groups that do other events).   Why did I opt not to apply?  Well I wasn't sure about work.  I can't elaborate, but that was near the top of the list.  Also near the top was the fact that come hell or high water I want to be building a house this year.  That's a topic for another post, but if the house doesn't happen I want to be buying my *own* house.  Yes you read that right.  My husband will not move off the farm and rightfully so.  So it would be me leaving to buy my own house.  Again, a whole other topic.  So I just declined to apply.  This weekend my friend sent me an email that said they may have an extra credential and was I interested in going? I  took that as a sign.  First of all I know my friend and for her to send an email meant that she was 99.9% sure there would be a credential.  So I said yes.  I did talk to my husband, but I had pretty much decided.  Like I said, it was a sign.  My thoughts were also such that I don't expect my husband to commit to building a house this year.  So why not do whatever the hell I want?  This is in July afterall.  I can focus on my house goal in the second half of the year.  And if my some miracle the heavens open up, the planets align, humans become immortal, horses can fly. . . . and house plans actually happen, they can continue while I'm in Toronto.  The games are July 10-26.  I don't know that I would attend the whole time, but a decent amount of time.  The bigger question is fly or drive?  While this sounds all fancy, this is done on my dime, as is Rolex.  There are a million perks to doing this that make it worthwhile so I'm not complaining.  But travel, lodging, food. . . nothing is paid for.  (Though often times companies feed the press free meals.) But I'll still take the gig. 

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One of the things I needed for my PanAm credentials was a passport type photo.  Well I needed one for my FOID card too.  So off I went to Walgreens at lunch yesterday.  Their camera was broke.  So I go to CVS.  I get the photo and I ask if I can get a digital copy.  No go.  Back at work I scan the photo.  But the photo is so small that it's likely not going to work for the credentials. I did send off my FOID card application though.  I didn't realize the FOID card is an IL thing.  I thought all states had this.  I can't buy a gun or ammo in IL without this card.  In MO you can buy both apparently without any kind of card.  As an IL resident I can go to MO and buy ammo without any issues, but not a gun, cause that has to transfer to me in IL and I need the FOID card for that.  Leave it to IL to be complicated.  I figure it's just for the money cause it costs $10.  Of course IL is still in debt, so . . . 

When I get home I dig out one of the last photo backdrops I still have.  I'm actually selling it on Sat to a friend.  The backs of the paper drops are all white.  I hang this on the wall in my house.  I ask Roger to snap a photo.  That takes about 10 tries.  He kept cutting off the top of my head or a shoulder.  I pay close attention to composition, but I guess that's from practice.  So we finally get one.  I email two of them to my friend and she has the scan of the passport photo too.  I'm not sure which they ended up using.  As they had to size them for the credentials.  The rules were similar to a passport photo - no shadows, no hair blocking your face. . . but I was also not allowed to smile.   On my passport I'm smiling, so that isn't a rule, or wasn't at that time.   So this is the one I hope gets used if I have to walk around with it hanging around my neck during the games.  Of course it'll probably be cropped to be mostly my face.  Eh - it could have been better and would have been if we had taken it earlier in the day.  My hair had been in a pony tail by this point.  Imagine that. 

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Today we have a clinic at my barn.  I haven't had a lesson with my trainer since November (by my choice).  I made cookies . .. chocolate chip with Valentine's M&M's.  I'm sad to say that I had some dough and one baked cookie. :(  This was the demise of my clean eating.  Ok not the demise, but I felt horrible. More guilty than actually feeling bad.  Though it's funny how I was sitting on the couch after I had eaten the cookie and I swear it felt like I was 20 lbs heavier and all my fat rolls were magnified!   Funny how the brain works. 

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As for my comment in the last post regarding Vegas. . . well if you're a horse person you might know what's going on there.  I'm still waiting to hear about that.  It poses other complications due to timing.  But I'm kind of keeping my fingers crossed.   

Awesome 6!

I had 6 miles on the schedule this weekend.  I admit I was dreading it.  We had dinner plans on Sunday so I wanted to run then (burn the calories then stuff my face!).   But the forecast on Sunday was for ice and sleet (which ultimately changed our plans on Sunday).  I was *not* doing 6 miles on the treadmill.  Nope.  No way, no how.   So Saturday it was. My husband made plans for his sister and brother in law to come over and help us put away summer sausage.   I wasn't aware of that.  I did managed to get up in time to make the house look a bit better and fit my run in before they arrived.    I rocked this run!

I forgot to ice my knee and take any meds like I did for the 5 miles last weekend.   I worried about that when I started. (it did get tight, but not as painful as in the past)   It was chilly but not super cold - perfect weather.  I don't really set goals other than to run the entire time and finish the distance.  However, I found my groove and wanted to keep a pace of under 12 min/mile.   Finding the groove for me is hit or miss.  The "groove" in my world is when I find that good pace and become almost "mechanical".  By that I mean I keep a good tempo, a steady pace and a rhythmic breathing pattern.  I feel like a machine - very repetitive.  All of those things happened on Saturday and I didn't ever fall out of it.  I almost did when 2 dogs chased me.  They actually belong to our nephew, but we don't spend much time with him, so I don't know their names.  But I've had a neighbor's dog run with me before and he ran "with" me.  Happy - tail wagging - running *with* me.  These dogs chased me.  Barking and yapping and on my heels.  One of the tripped me and I freaked.  I turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs at them.  One went home.  The other proceeded to chase me until I yelled again.  All of this happened as I was going up the first of 2 "hills" on my run.  They aren't terribly steep, but in my flatland area of IL they are hill enough to get my hear rate up.  So I'm turning around, screaming and running up a hill at the same time.  My heart rate spiked.  I can see exactly where all of this happened in all the stats on my run.   It's kind of funny that there are peaks and drops (pace dropped) right at that point.   I wasn't sure I would recover cause my heart rate felt so high and that causes me to slow down. Plus I was out of breath!  I got to the top of the hill and focused on breathing and found that groove again.  All went well till about mile 5.5 when my sock started rubbing the back of one of my feet.  I knew when I left the house that those socks wouldn't stay up and out of my shoe.  Sure enough one slipped inside my shoe and rubbed the back of my foot raw.  It still hurts!  I am SO proud of this pace.  I even posted the Garmin photo on FB.  I tend to think that people that post about every workout are kind of tacky.  I have one FB friend that posts a photo of her heart rate watch after every workout.  I *has* to be every workout.  It's almost daily.  Really - does it not count if you don't post it to FB? lol   Anyways, look how even my splits are!!!!!

I love how my splits are so close together.  The longest split of 11:40 includes the miles where the dogs were after me.  My average pace was basically the same as when I ran my 15K in December.  I did notice how my watch and the screenshot from Garmin Connect aren't the exact same in avg pace.  Lame!   When I find my groove in running I don't hate it so much.   I just wish I could find it more often.  Or figure out what triggers it.  I often think the meal I ate for supper the night before impacts my run the next morning.  I'm embarrassed to admit I had a fish filet meal from McD's the night before!

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So the rest of the weekend was spent making cookies!  I had no idea they would take so long.  Whew.   I found this idea online and have been wanting to try it for weeks.  I've had all the supplies for weeks.  The blog said that these come together really easily.  I guess they do when you aren't learning as you go.  I don't use the holy grail royal icing.  I knew that the icing I used would make details hard. But it made the stems of the strawberries impossible.  So I had to make royal icing for the first time.  Blah!  I used it on the stems and the seeds since I had some left.  I was going to use it on the white drizzle, but the instructions said to make the icing ivory.  I tried that and it came out way way way wrong.  So that got trashed and I had to make more icing yet again.  If I hadn't made the green and the white drizzle twice I'd have finished sooner I think.  Nonetheless I love them.  I brought them to work today and a coworker told me they look like something you'd see in a magazine!  YAY!  This photo shows a bit more shine than they ended up with after drying over night.  But it's the most accurate in color. 

Binge eating

I read Runs For Cookies and she talks about binge eating quite a bit.  She recently read a book called "Brain Over Binge".  I'm pondering getting that book.  I totally binged last night.  I've never really thought of my eating habits as binging.  But what is random eating when you aren't hungry?   So last night my husband went hunting.  I had been feeling down and out about the scale.  That morning I ran 2 miles and did a Chalean Extreme lifting workout.   I didn't really eat breakfast and I had my normal breakfast smoothie for lunch.  I had to take my cat to the cardiologist for a check up.  I got home at 6.  I made 2 hole in one eggs for dinner.  I wanted the protein from eggs.  I do believe my body does better with a high protein diet.  I threw away the center bread piece from one of the pieces of bread, to reduce the carbs.  I had 3 links of Oscar Meyer Turkey Sausage.   Ok, this is all ok.   But then I ate a piece of left over bday cake.  Then I ate two cups (not measuring cups, but drinking cups) of Quisp Cereal.  I ate some fruit snacks.  I don't even remember what else.  I wasn't hungry.  I was craving things.  And I just ate.  I would say this is binging.  I don't do this often, but you know what?  Maybe I need to read about this concept.   It's probably enough to derail my diet even though I don't do it very often.  I feel like my body is stuck though.  Often I think I'd do better just dieting and not working out.

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For some reason I find decorating cookies to be relaxing.  And it's kind of my new hobby.  I want to get better at it.  I don't really find them terribly tempting to eat cause I want to give them away.  Today I brought these to work

I did eat one of the medium size cookies.   But I haven't had any more.  Hopefully they get scarfed up at work today.  But I made Oatmeal Raising & Cookies-n-cream cookies as well.  Cookie overload at work!

I'm already planning my next cookie challenge.  It's a valentine's cookie and I'm trying to find the cutters at a reasonable price. 

SNOW!!!

This was a crazy weekend!  OMG.

First we had another Christmas on Saturday.  So Friday night we made more sugar cookies!  YAY. I had got some really tiny cutters from Target after Christmas and I just couldn't wait a whole year to use them.  I really really love decorating cookies.  I think my goal this year is to learn how to get better at it.  It's so relaxing and therapeutic for me.  This time I felt like Roger rushed a bit more than the last time, so his didn't look quite as good.

So Christmas on Saturday. . . my Dad's family is a HOT mess.  They are never on time.  But apparently they are also not very clear on plans.  We were told Christmas at 3:00.  I figured we would eat by 4.  Around 4:30 I found out that eating was a 6:00pm.  And some people knew that and other did not.  I would *never* have been there at 3:10 if I had known.  My poor dad. . . . he had been out delivering gas that day and rushed. . . he was "late" (for the 3:00 time) but was not thrilled to sit there wasting time when he could have not rushed and also finished some chores at home (feeding animals) before coming to Christmas.  Ugh.  I literally grazed on crap food for 3 hours!!!   Not good.  Not good at all.

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The weathermen kept saying it was going to snow Saturday night through Sunday.  I'm not sure I really believed the predictions (10-ish inches).   When it wasn't snowing Sat night I thought maybe we wouldn't get it at all.  Umm . . . no we got it.  Whew.  It snowed ALL day Sunday.  And it was windy as could be.  Snow was blowing sideways.  Since we don't live in town it was hard to get a feel for how much snow we got cause the wind caused 4 ft drifts and left some places bare.   I enjoyed spending the day inside watching it snow.    I did go outside to take photos and I'm not sure why.  I was miserable.  I couldn't see the LCD of my camera very well.  I just trusted I knew what I was doing.  I got some good pics though.  And here you will see my poor little snowman all buried in snow. I  imagine he loves the snow but probably hoped it didn't cover his eyes!

My office was closed yesterday and again I enjoyed the day at home.  I was lucky my dentist remained open and I got my tooth fixed without taking time off work.  We watched The Host last night.  I loved that book and I enjoyed the movie.  I thought it was well done.

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I know why I put my heart rate monitor for my Garmin on upside down all the time!  I didn't run this weekend.  However, on my last run I noticed about 30 secs into the run that it was upside down and was able to correct it.

It's the exact opposite orientation from my Polar HR monitor.  I always put my Polar on with the rounded side up.  I didn't matter with the Polar though. It would work no matter what.  With the Garmin, the little runner dude has to be right side up in order for the running dynamics to work.  The heart rate will still be recorded, but not the running dynamics.   And it appears I still want to put it on with the rounded side up - which makes the runner dude upside down!  My husband said "I can paint a mark on it so that you will know which way is up".  I said "honey there is a mark on it, there's a little runner dude!  But apparently I still can't follow directions!"

180.4

The first week of lent proved to be moderately difficult. Generally when I do something like this, it's pretty black and white. I cannot eat chocolate or candy. I didn't have much difficulty until yesterday. Every month at work we have a birthday cake day to celebrate the birthdays for that month. Yesterday's cake was chocolate. Ahh! I really wanted cake. Darn it. So that was hard. I did eat some icing off the cardboard base.

Yesterday I was also promoted to head baker in my office. It's an inside joke but I did bring in oatmeal raisin and funfetti cake cookies today. I've eaten too many. :( And there are a bunch more goodies upstairs in honor of leap day! Oh my! It's going to be a bit of a high carb day. Uh oh!

We had a mandated 8 AM start today because of a scheduled power outage. I took advantage of the extra hour and went to the gym. Ran 3 miles and burned about 500 cals!

But the big news is that since last wed I am down 3.2 lbs. Now that's something huh?

I'm pleased with that. A bit disappointed because yesterday was my weekly low of 179.8. And I thought I was very well behaved yesterday. But I did have a fat burn type workout and sometimes my muscles retain water. I won't know because I'm stuffing my face with carbs today so tomorrow I may weigh more than this. :( I never went above that 183.6 last week. So that was a good thing. But I'm really close to my reset maintenance weight which is about 177-178. So this week is going to prove to be challenging I think.

My fat % was estimated at 29.3% last week I believe. I know for a fact I was in the 29's and I was disappointed about it. I didn't take my measurement first thing in the AM last wednesday. So that may have threw it off a bit but I don't know in which direction. However, 28.6% is the answer today! Woo hoo. I will say that this is generally the number I get when I'm in my maintenance weight range. So now the struggle to drop lower will begin. I've seen 28.3 and maybe a 28 once? But it will be hard to get down there. We'll see what happens. I'd just like to have these exact same numbers next week. I'd be ok with that! :)

So in other news I've been really struggling with my horse. So much so that I have 2 plans. We both take a month off. Or I take a month off and he goes to my trainer's for a tune up. I can't decide. The tune up will be expensive. And I just got a $600 vet bill for him due to urine crystals. Blah! So I'm undecided. He can't go till after March 15th due to my trainer's vacation. But I still do need to decide. I really want us to get back on track, but I'm not sure this is the answer. Do I really spend more money on training that I might undo? I have a lot to think about.

And currently I'm thinking about new shoes for the gym. . . I'm searching for bargains online. I would like some pink, but I'll take a good deal. Not having much luck :(