Pretty good week!

It's time for my Wednesday weigh in. I'm down 3.2 lbs! :)

I cannot tell you how excited I am to see 178 on the scale. This is within my maintenance range. The relief I feel is pretty dang good. I like seeing that my body wants to be at this weight again. I'm mentally happy between 176-178. And I'm just slightly uncomfortable from 178-180. But above 180 really stresses me out. Now I have no clue about this fat monitor.

Technically that's a 0.2% increase from last week. I have trouble believing that with a 3.2 lb loss . But ok. The numbers are what they are. I want to get my fat % to 25% but I'm wondering how realistic that is? It should be attainable, but maybe I don't really know how to get the fat % down. I assumed losing weight would also drop that number. *shrug*

So here are the numbers since last week:

Hmm that looks a bit blurry when uploaded. I'm not sure why. The middle column of numbers is my average weight for the month. Then you have my gain or loss. The last column is fat % which I only do on Wed. I like seeing 4 days in a row in the 170's! This was just a good week for me. Last wed was really painful. I totally pigged out. Then I ran 3 miles and had a training session that day. I burned 1000 cals according to my heart rate monitor. Even though I got control of my eating that afternoon, I still went up a whole lb! Darn it. I buckled down and got back on track. The increase on the 26th. . . that's Monday morning. I ran 5 miles on Sunday morning. I'm still learning how to feed myself when I run. Especially on the long 5 mile days. I went up 0.8 last monday after my sunday 5 mile run. There's something to that I think. I talked to my trainer a bit about how to eat when running. This Sunday I just felt a bit weak all day on Sunday and just enough off balance with my body. It was hard to describe. I honestly don't think I eat enough on those 5 mile days. But I also think I need to work on timing of my food. I run on an empty stomach first thing Sunday morning. I prefer to run on an empty stomach, but that may not be the best idea. I guess I could also be slightly dehydrated since it is first thing in the morning. I don't drink water before heading out. Why? Cause water goes right through me and I am afraid I'll have to pee too badly while running! So I think I'm really just not doing the right thing. I need to work on that. This coming weekend might not show the best results though. Our 1 year anniversary is Monday so we will be celebrating this weekend. I mean we have year old wedding cake to eat! LOL! :)

Speaking of wedding cake, let's just take a look at my wedding cake:

I confess it made me super sad to cut that gorgeous thing! The top is supposedly at my parents house in the freezer. I almost wish we didn't save the top. I would have ordered a small cake from the same bakery and had a nice fresh cake! I plan on doing that next year, and the next year and the year after that! :)

One thing that I changed this week is on Thursday I started writing down what I eat. Admittedly I'm not 100% perfect. Some things sneak in that I don't write down. Mostly though I try really hard to track. I write down when I wake up, when I eat, when I finish a bottle of water. . . .

I don't track stats such as cals, fat, protein. I use to do this daily via sparkpeople. I stopped doing that and for some reason I can't seem to get myself back to that. This is my compromise. Those papers live in my purse and I just write what I eat. I'm not too worried about analyzing it because obviously this week I did well. If I struggle with the number on the scale then I'll analyze what I'm eating. The goal right now is to just be aware of it. So far I think it's helping.

Working on speed and pace

Last week I was doing a treadmill run at my gym. My trainer came up to me and started chatting. I was running at a speed of 5.0 or a 12 min mile. I realize that's slow given my times outside, but it's where I start on the treadmill. He is encouraging me to go faster. And he looked at my display and said "humor me since I'm here and bumped me up to 5.4". He said I can start faster than I do. So I've been thinking about that. . .

Friday as I was leaving work dressed in my gym clothes I realized I didn't want to run on the treadmill. I wanted to run outside. I was only doing 3 miles, but I just wanted to go home. I rarely get to go straight home from work. I'm either going to the gym, the barn or even once a month or so getting a massage. The problem with going home on Friday night? A storm was coming and it was coming fast. I decided I would run at home anyways and if I got wet or had to run less then oh well. For my mental health I just wanted to go home.

So I get home and immediately strap on all my running crap and off I go. There are black clouds in the distance. There is lightening not too far away. I decide that I'm staying on my side of the block in case I need to get home quickly. We live basically smack dab in the middle of the block. Each side is a mile long so we are at the .5 mile mark. So I turn left and go to the end, turn around and go to the other end, then turn around and go back to the first end and then turn around and go back to my drive. Make sense?! LOL. I was running FAST! My GPS had trouble working on a good day so it did not work at all under the storm clouds. My heart rate watch has a stop watch on it. It seems my first mile was 10:15. It's possible my 2nd was 10:55. The third was PAINFUL. I got a side stitch. The wind picked up and it was colder and it started spitting rain. I pushed through and got back to my drive at 29:45. That means my avg pace was UNDER 10 min. I have dreamed of a 10 min mile. But I never imagined going faster than that. I truly wish my GPS had worked.

On Sunday I ran around the block and this was only my second time running 5 miles. The last time my GPS didn't start when I did, so once it did I started over, but my stats aren't even worth talking about since they don't cover the full 5 miles. I do know I ran slow. This time I did 5.15 miles in 56 mins. Runkeeper logged 5.14 but when I hit stop on my phone it said 5.15. *shrug*My avg pace was 10:54 Here are my splits:

My GPS talks to me every 1/4 mile and tells me my total time and avg pace. I knew I was going faster as I ran. I purposely slowed down the last mile. That portion has a hill on it that, while not huge, certainly does challenge my heart rate. But my last mile was a full min faster than my first. I'd like to be more consistent.

So yesterday I killed my legs. I had a lunge lesson on a horse at my barn. My horse is off at my trainer's remember. And he is NOT a good lunge lesson horse. My trainer comes for clinics on certain mondays. So I borrowed a horse and had a lunge lesson. For those that don't know basically you start with no reins. . . then after a few mins of warm up for you and the horse and stretches for you, you take away the stirrups. The horse is attached to my trainer and works in a circle around him. I have to do crazy stuff like ride all three gaits with my arms straight up over my head. Or maybe with arms doing backwards windmills with the arms opposite each other. Last night I had to do those windmills and also alternate my feet between pointing and flexing. And then I had to do the downward transitions from canter - trot and trot - walk while maintaining the windmills and feet flexing. What I mean is I had to tell the horse to change gaits. In general during a lunge lesson the person in the middle tells the horse what to do. It's really hard to tell the horse to change gaits while maintaining windmills and feet flexing! Wow. I'm not all that coordinated. This lesson challenges your abs as those muscles keep you on the horse. Your legs do too, but not to the extent you may think. For example I had to ride all three gaits with my legs pulled out and away from the horse. So my butt was touching the horse. :) What happens to my legs is they stretch out. They get longer. They don't get to grip like I might when I'm really riding with stirrups. They start to burn :)

Then I drove straight home and I ran 3 miles. I believe in always running the day after my long run. Fatigue the legs is what I've read. Today should be my day off and it is from running but I have a training session at the gym. So my mom was coming over after my run and so mentally I knew I'd run fast. My GPS managed to start when I did (I love that!) I did 3.0 miles exactly. Total time was 32:07 and my avg pace was 10:43. A sub-11 pace! I like that. I'd like that to be my new permanent pace. Normally I'm well in the 11's. But this is 2 runs with a sub-11. I like that. Here are the splits:

Now that is consistent! I'm happy with that!!!! Once I got in my groove I tried to keep the GPS around 10:48 as the avg. I would "think" I was slowing down and so that's how I actually ended up with a lower avg. But I'm really happy with those times! That's a consistent run. Now if I can commit that feeling to memory.

I slept like a freaking baby with the exception of like 5 trips to the bathroom. I didn't drink enough water Sunday after my run. I committed a sin and had soda that day. So I made up for it yesterday. My legs felts like jello all night. This morning it took great effort to move them. They were and still are very very tired. But it's a good feeling! No pain no gain!

I'm a runner!

Never in a million years would I have thought I would say that. I'm a runner! It feels so foreign.

This weekend I was talking to a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while. Unlike most of my friends she is never ever on FB. So she has no idea that I started running. I mentioned that the day prior I ran in the fog and my hair got so wet. She said you run now? I replied, yes I'm a runner. And that was so weird.

When I was in Jr High we had "conditioning" in PE class. Every two weeks we had to run a mile. I think we had 20 mins to do this. Which is probably an avg mile walk pace. I would start running like the rest of the class. Then of course because I was out of shape and a bit chubby I'd get a side stitch and I'd walk. But I would try to alternate walking and running. But I would get this horrible itchy heat rash type thing on my legs. It was horrible. I'd have to walk while scratching my thighs the whole time. The more I scratched the worse it got, but I couldn't NOT scratch. As a result I've never really exercised outside. Once I got to an age where I wanted to work out I joined a gym. I've always feared working out outside because I hated this rash! I didn't know what caused it. It was annoying. It would only happen if I really exerted myself. General PE type sports didn't do it, but the running did. In college I took yoga and horseback riding as my PE classes. This has never ever happened while riding. Not once. A few years ago I got curious and tried to google this issue. The best I could find was exercise induced urticaria. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_urticaria *shrug* I read posts from people that experienced this. The best "cure" I could find was to take an antihistamine prior to exercising. So with this in mind I never ever thought I would run. Ever.

In Jan I decided I wanted to sign up for a 5K. Worse case I walk the whole thing. I started running outside. . . but it was cold. So I thought maybe I wouldn't get the itchy rash thing unless it was hot enough. I don't remember specific details about when I'd get it when I was younger. So I pushed on. . . fearing the day the temps started to rise. Well summer is here. Yes I know it's spring but it's summer temps out there. We've had temps in the 80's. I've ran in these temps with no itchy rashes! YAY! Maybe I outgrew this? Maybe it is a result of being more fit? I don't know. I guess I don't care. I just hope that when the "real" summer gets here that I continue without the rash. *fingers crossed*

So I'm a runner. What makes me say that? The fact that I run at 7AM on weekends! OMG.

The fact that I want to get a run in almost every day. I don't obviously, but I do run about 5 days a week. However now that I have a new personal trainer that I meet with 2 times a week, I may cut the running back so that I can have a complete day off.

And then there is today. . . I totally went out of control and ate two doughnuts. We have customers here this week. They always eat at Thai House when they are in town. I asked when they were going as I wanted to go. I have no work friends so I rarely go out to lunch and when I do, no one wants to go to Thai House. They told me tomorrow was the day. Well that changed and at 11:15 I found out it was today. There was NO way I could eat those kind of carbs after what I ate this morning. Just no way. I even felt bloated. So I bailed. I went to the park and I ran three miles. Keep in mind that I have a session with my trainer at 5PM tonight. I just had to run. There was no other option. My body was screaming to run. So I ran. It stopped screaming at about 1.5 miles, but I pushed on! lol.

I have discovered that I hate running on tracks. The track at the park is a 1 mile loop (pavement). Until today the most I've done was 2 miles. Mostly due the time it takes and the time constraints of my lunch break. But today I decided I could stay late if necessary and I was going to do 3 miles. Now every time I've done 2 miles I've thought to myself "you can do one more." But by the time I get to the end of that 2nd lap there is just no way. It's become a nemesis. I'd rather run out and back like I do from my house than run the same loop three times. Blah! But I did it. And I'm happy I did. I burned 500 cal. Will that cover the doughnuts? Maybe. :) I'm going to be good the rest of the day. I said that in my earlier post and with TOM here, my pants are feeling mighty tight. lol

Again, it feels weird to say "I'm a runner".

Somedays I hate being a girl

Like when it's that time of the month and the scale just keeps on creeping up. I've tracked my weight in such detail that I know I gain when TOM is here. Blah! And it arrived yesterday, which set me up for failure for this week's weigh in.

I'm up 2.2 lbs. But I'm down .3% in fat. So possibly it's just water weight? Let's hope so. However, I'm sure to pack on the lbs after the last two days. My cravings have just been out of control and I'm eating. . . a lot. I'm embarrassed to admit I had two doughnuts today. But I need to figure out how to move on from that. Generally once I screw up the whole day is shot. I have a session with my new trainer at the gym. So I can redeem myself today. I'm going to go run at lunch. It's my punishment for eating. I can stay later at work today cause my session isn't till 5. So I'm going to try to get in 3 miles at lunch. 2 at the minimum. We'll see.

So the numbers are:

Wed: 179

Thurs: 180

Fri: 180.8

Sat: 179.4

Sun: 180

Mon: 180.8

Tues: 181.2

Wed: 181.2 (+2.2lbs)

The only plus I see from analyzing the numbers is that my highest weight is 181.2. . . and last week it was 183.4 So there's a definite improvement. Just writing this blog, that no one reads, helps motivate me to not throw in the towel for today. Just saying that I can regain control of this day is motivating to me. I CAN do this. I have to figure out what triggers binges and get them under control. End of story.

I accomplished a milestone this weekend. On Sunday I ran 5 miles! Woo hoo! I wanted to be running 5 miles before my 5K in April. So I will likely run that distance again this Sunday. I was super excited. I ran it really slow. I was at just over 12:00/mile. My GPS on my phone didn't start working for well over a mile. So I don't have good stats unfortunately. That was a big bummer for me since this was my first 5. But I didn't care how slow I went. I cared that I did it. :) Now I would like to increase my pace and I'm not too sure how I go about doing that. I'll have to research that.

I'm determined to have a better weigh in next week. :)

It's Wednesday!

Well this was a roller coaster week! Whew. I'm always stressed about the number on the scale, but this week was rather crazy.

Let's start with today's weigh in: 179.0 -1.6 lbs from last week!

What a relief! I was really worried about today but I kicked butt on my eating on Monday and Tuesday. The fat % monitor must have lost it's mind though. . .

That is a 0.7% increase. I have no explanation for how that happens when you actually lose weight. This thing isn't the most consistent little tool, but that's a bit off. But this doesn't make sense. I'm not too worried about it though. We'll see what happens.

So let's lay out the numbers:

Wed: 180.6

Thurs: 180.2

Fri: 181.2

Sat: 183.4

Sun: 182.6

Mon: 183.2

Tues: 180.8

Wed: 179.0

You can see I really pulled it together at the end! I expected to go up Sat and Sun cause we were out of town. I did run 3 miles at the hotel both Sat and Sun morning. I had run 2 miles Friday at work before I headed out of town. Monday's weight really pissed me off. I ate very well on Sun. We had pizza for dinner, but I ate SUPER good that day to budget for that. Oh well.

I'm starving right now. Not sure why. I ran 4 miles on Monday on the treadmill. I ran 2 miles outside yesterday and I also did a 5 mile bike ride in the evening when I got home. I'm just super hungry and hoping to hang on and be good today. I'd like to see the 178's tomorrow. I haven't seen that since the end of Jan. Baby steps. . . :)

What is normal?

I cannot stand when my weight goes up over a pound in one day. Especially when I worked out, drank tons of water and ate well. I wonder how much fluctuation a normal person sees? By normal I mean someone that is not on a "diet" and is simply maintaining their weight. Whether this is conscious or subconscious. I realize some people can just live life, eat what they want and not ever really gain. But does their weight fluctuate a pound in a day? I'm curious.

This weekend was rough for me. I tried really hard to be good but also to enjoy myself. I had some drinks. I didn't pig out at the free breakfast or free evening snacks. Actually on Saturday morning I had my own yogurt for breakfast. Sunday I had a teeny tiny portion of my husband's waffle and then some sausage and eggs. Sausage and eggs is what I eat every single day for breakfast.

I really don't know what causes these fluctuations. When I was on the maintenance portion of my diet I didn't fluctuate this much. I guess I need to look at my food journal from then and see what I was doing. Yes I've added in different foods to my diet. Bananas for example. If I eat the same thing every day for months on end I will get bored and I will mess up worse than what is happening now. So I'm trying to add healthy variations. But apparently it isn't working. :(

Eating is a daily battle for me. I hate that it takes the forefront of my life so prominently. I suspect it always will though. In order for me to not gain back all my weight I'm going to have to fight for it for the rest of my life. That's a depressing thought! I'd be much more comfortable about this if I could lose 5 lbs and hover around that weight for a few months. I'm just really struggling here and I need to figure out what the answer is!

1 pound

So I'm up a pound today. Does your weight fluctuate that much in a day?! How annoying. Did I pig out yesterday? Not too bad! LOL. I was very very sore yesterday. I still am today. I mean my legs are painfully sore. With every passing hour yesterday they hurt worse. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to ride. But I know movement is the best thing. So I did. Can't say it helped. :( I took a long hot shower last night and my husband massaged my legs. He's a saint! It felt SO good. But when I woke up they are still painful. Not quite so much, but 50% maybe. I'm going to run today though. I haven't ran since Sunday. Back to the legs. . . maybe some of my pound is water weight. I know muscles retain water when they are repairing. So maybe. I will say I feel heavy today. I mean I know when I got on the scale that it would be up. I just feel fat. So maybe there is water retention. Am I ever going to see the 170's again for any length of time? I liked those numbers! I knew starting running might cause me an increase in weight. I just thought I could get it back off. Did I mention I had measurement at the gym Wednesday night? First measurements since Jan 4th. I lost a bit in the waist. Maybe 3/4 inch? I can't remember for sure. I gained in the thighs. At least a 1/2 inch, maybe more. I'm told it's from muscles building from running. It has to be because when I gain fat it goes to my waist and hips. Everything else stayed basically the same, or was so minimal it's not worth talking about. I'm going to try to be good this weekend when I'm out of town. I packed my scale. I'm trying to suck the water down. But I will say this. . . our hotel is right next to a DQ and I'm having ice cream once! It's been so long!

It's Not Black & White

Gosh bodies are such funny things. I had a really rough eating day yesterday. In some ways I think I am a binge eater. By that I mean that one thing can just set off a flurry of eating. I am this way on the weekends. I cannot be home all day. This is one reason I stay busy all the time. If I'm home I will just graze all day long. This was the case on Sunday. I did my running and riding early cause I had plans with my mom. Those fell through and I was home from about 11AM through the end of the day. Even my husband said to me at one point "you've been eating all day!". I know it! You don't have to rub it in. lol

So yesterday . . . where shall we start? Let's start with the Krispy Kreme doughnuts that were in the office. I thought I could refuse. I mean I can't have chocolate and what good is a plain glazed doughnut?

Well it's pretty good. I think. I inhaled it so fast I'm not sure I tasted it. I brought two variations of rice krispies treats to work, including Fruity Pebble treats. I had at least 2 of those. Let's move on to the girl scout cookies that are in my actual room - shortbread.

10? I think I had at least 10 of those. Now let's go back to the Krispy Kremes. I had another after lunch! OMG! It was horrible. I felt horrible. Not so much physically but mentally.

I'm one of those people that once I screw up I just screw up the whole day. I need to get control over that. So after work I went to the barn and let Eli graze. I didn't ride. I could have ridden but I didn't want to. So I hung out while he got turnout in the field with grass. His turnout is barren, so this was a treat for him. Then I had a training session at the gym. It was a pretty good session. However I really wanted a soda. I was going to text my hubby to see if he cared. He gave up soda for lent, so I didn't want to tempt him. But instead I talked to my farrier the whole way home and never stopped for a soda. Once I was home I looked like an AA person trying to avoid a drink. I wanted to hop back in the car and go get that soda! But it was already almost 7:30 and we were about to eat dinner. So I didn't. I figured I could distract myself and I did. But I also had too many Club crackers with canned cheese. I LOVE canned cheese. I LOVE crackers. LOL

So this morning I was totally prepared for an increase in weight. Instead I was down .4 lbs. I haven't figured out if my body has a delayed response to my horrid eating days. Meaning will I be way up tomorrow instead of this morning? I don't know. In the diet that I followed to lose the majority of my weight I had to track my weight daily. Once in the maintenance phase I added in foods slowly. If I gained weight the very next morning I needed to take out that additional food and try it again later. I wasn't quite that disciplined. However, I didn't have any huge gains. Generally they meant a gain of like 1 lb or more. That meant your body didn't accept that food well. And if you went over your maintenance weight by more than 2 lbs you had to do a specific correction day. It was all very rigid and it worked well for me. But it implies that your body will react to the foods by the next morning's weigh in. I'm starting to pay a bit more attention to the pattern of eating "bad" foods and my weight reaction. I'm starting to wonder if my body is wanting more carbs. By that I mean it seems I don't increase in weight the very next day. And if I'm working out regularly I may be able to handle them better. Of course I'd add healthy carbs and not Krispy Kremes. It's just a concept and a thought at this point. Or on my no/low carb days I may just not be eating enough calories. I hate tracking to the level that might be required to answer these questions. So I may not answer them. lol

Tomorrow I go out of town with the hubby for a tractor pull. I'm packing work out clothes. However, I'm also packing alcohol. Oh well. You gotta still live life! I feel better when I screw up on purpose rather than yesterday when I felt out of control. I'd rather make the choice to blow it. :)

+0.2 BLAH!

So this week I felt like my weight was a ping pong ball. I was at 179.8 twice. And I hit that number the week prior as well. I can't maintain it for a day though. Sucks.

Here's the numbers:

Last wed: 180.4

Thurs: 181.8

Fri: 180.2

Sat: 179.8

Sun: 181.4

Mon: 181

Tues: 179.8

Wed: 180.6 (+.2)

Fat % = 28.6 (+0)

I wish I never hit 181 and I want to be in the 170's for more than a day. Darn it. Do you see the difference in Sat and Sun? I had a very similar pattern the week before. So I need to be a bit more stable.

This week Monday I ate Chinese (chicken fried rice) and had a Mt. Dew late that night (like 9PM). I thought for sure my weight would be up on Tues. It was down! That's crazy. Yesterday I think I might have made two mistakes. . . not eating quite enough protein and not drinking enough water. So I'm working on that today.

I'm VERY glad the fat % stayed the same. Ideally I'd like that to go down, but staying the same is good.

Blogger refuses to stop rotating my photos. I fixed the first one and this one will NOT work. Oh well.

So this weekend I'm out of town with the hubby at a tractor pull. We are staying at the Drury - our FAVORITE hotel. They have the best breakfasts. I'm packing workout clothes and I *will* run on the treadmill. I really want to be in the 170's next week.

This weekend I ran my longest distance of 4.59 miles! I cannot wait to get to 5 miles. I totally want to run around the freaking block. Dang long country blocks! It's windy here today and it was yesterday as well. I took Monday off on purpose. Yesterday was horse dental day. I was tired after and so I didn't go to the gym. I have a training session tonight. Tomorrow I will run at lunch if the winds aren't blowing like crazy. This is serious wind advisory stuff - even a fire weather warning was issued.

I decided to send my horse for training. He is probably going up next Saturday and will stay no later than the first weekend in May. I don't want to bring him home right before I leave for 5 days at Rolex. I don't have anyone to keep him going. And he is not getting that long off after I pay for training!

That's all I got this week. Fingers crossed for next Wednesday! :)