Fat Percent

One of the things I monitor in my weight loss journey is fat %. It's one the measurements taken at the gym. I decided a few months back that I wanted to own the same monitor so I could use it at the same time of day a few times a week to monitor my loss. Apparently fat % monitors are sensitive little things. You shouldn't take your measurement within so many hours of eating, working out or showering. So I take mine in the morning right after getting off the scale and before I shower. I don't do it every morning. I don't even write it down every time I do use it. It does go up and down just like the lbs on the scale. But usually only within the same % - so up or down a few tenths of a percent. What I do pay attention to is that I'm basically the same. If my scale jumps up several lbs (like over the holidays) I don't want my fat % to increase too much. Or if I my scale goes up and the fat % goes down then I'm gaining muscle.

I don't know where my fat % was when I first started with my trainer in 2010. It was in probably in the mid-30's. But of course that's taken in the afternoon when I meet with her and likely not long after I've eaten a snack. My personal goal is 25% on my monitor at home in the morning. I recently made a good bit of progress on my most recent diet in regards to the fat%. But since I've owned the monitor I've been as high as 29.0% and as a low as 28.3%. I generally stay around 28.5-28.7%.

Today:

So 28.0%. Yay! I decided to start posting a photo like this. Hopefully once a week as my way of recording my progress. Cause I track my weight through my SparkPeople app on my phone. But there's no easy way for me to track this. I have a spreadsheet of my weight with lots of data on it and if I remember I have a column for fat % that I fill in when I remember the number. But this seems a bit more. . . well accountable maybe? :) We'll see. The BMI - you can see it's high. However, everyone tells me that these monitors don't do BMI well and to not go by that. But I hope that if I ever reach that magical 25% that maybe. . . just maybe. . . I'll be in a normal BMI on this monitor. But I don't really pay attention to that number and I never track it. The input to the monitor is normal/athlete, height and weight. . . I can't remember if sex is in there or not. I'll have to look. And yes my scale does calculate fat % as well but it seems way off. It puts me in the mid-30's and even my Dr said no way. So since we use this thing at the gym that's what I decided to use as my reference.

So I think. . . I "think". . . I'm not going to pack my scale when we go to Cancun. It's going to kill me! There is going to be a big old gap in my spreadsheet. Not sure my anal mathematical self can handle that. Yikes! Maybe I should take the fat % monitor? But I'm not sure that will help much on a daily basis anyways. Plus the heat and humidity might skew the results. . . at least the first day. You know what I mean? So I may panic when there is no reason to panic. I don't know. I think since I'm generally more active on vacation than I am sitting at my desk during my 40 hour work week that I should be ok. I have been previously when we've traveled this fall. And yes I packed my scale then. LOL! But . . . those weren't all inclusive vacation with yummy alcoholic drinks! If it was just the food I have total confidence in myself. But it's not. . . it's purple rain, electric lemonade, Caribbean punch. . . maybe a dirty monkey . . . or not since that has coconut. But you get my drift. . . wow.

So I've been having some issues with giving myself a day off from the gym. I can't do it. I feel guilt. Yesterday I know I ate too much. I went to the barn to ride Eli. But I knew I had to stop at the mall after. Why? Because my dumb self mailed my Maurice's payment without the check. And I sent the check a few days later. But it hasn't arrived. So my options are pay by phone and pay a $15 fee, wait it out and hope I don't get the late fee ($20-30) or go to the mall and pay in store. It's due tomorrow. As it is paying last night will post on Friday but they told me on the phone they have a one day grace period. They freaking better! So I went to the barn. I got my horse from the pasture. I was feeling all fat from eating crap during the day. I put him in his stall and changed clothes for the gym. Popped into Maurice's to make the payment and hit the gym. I'm a mess! I needed to ride cause Eli will have a week off while I'm in Cancun! But I couldn't. . . I wanted to run on the treadmill. Like I really really *wanted* to. So I did. And I ran 2 miles without stopping! First time I've ever done that. It felt fantastic. It wasn't fast. My pace is 4.8 or 5.0. Last night I stuck with 4.8 since that is comfortable I knew I could do it. Then I did 30 mins on the treadmill. I'm SUPER sore today. I think my body needs a day off. My hubby said I work out too much. *shrug* Maybe. But I think there are other issues with that comment. So I let it slide. I have a session with my trainer tonight. Then tomorrow I have a massage and I promise that I will NOT work out. I probably can't even walk a mile during my lunch break cause the high will be like 29 and we are expecting a teeny tiny bit of SNOW!!!! YAY!!!!

TOWELS!

I love towels. I can't have too many. I love people that give me towels for my bday or xmas. lol. Now I use two towels when I showed. One for my hair and one for my body. I suppose most women do this right?

This morning I had to grab two fresh towels out of the cabinet. I was very much asleep as I got up early to come into work 30 mins early. My pink towels were easily available so I grabbed them.

I remember having this thought as I stepped in the shower "dang that pink towel is too small. Oh well I'll deal". What did I mean by that? Well I use the striped towel for my hair cause it's thinner and stays on my head easier. Both towels are the same size though. And that's the problem. I normally use a "normal" size bath towel for my head and an oversized towel for my body. Because otherwise there is a big gap in the towel cause I'm too freaking fat. This morning when I finished showering I was happy to realize that the towel fits!!! Yes there are no gaps. I mean I could answer the door in this towel. That wouldn't be the most comfortable thing in the world, but what I'm saying is that you can't see nothing! lol. It's amazing what little things I notice as I get more comfortable in my smaller body.

So this morning I weighed in at 177.0. Up from yesterday but I'm ok with that. Aunt Flo is visiting and yesterday was a rough food day. I ate way too much candy. Probably TMI by my new birth control isn't really working as it should I guess. Aunt Flo wasn't suppose to come till later this week. I think I'll be switching back cause I have trust issues with this pill as a result. And of course it's bad timing to have trust issues when hubby and I are about to fly off to Cancun. *fingers crossed*

Half Their Size

First I wanted to say that I had a yogurt day yesterday. For the diet I was on that is one of the alternate correction days. That means I eat 32 oz of full fat yogurt and 8 oz of berries through the day. I don't like full fat yogurt, so I buy 2% Fage yogurt and add heavy whipping cream to get the fat. You'd think this isn't much to eat during the day (oh I start eating at noon) but it is. I only ate 24 oz. But I had some nuts and one piece of chocolate when I got home. I was NOT hungry when I went to bed. I weighed in this morning and lost FOUR lbs. 176.2! Back in my happy maintenance range. Let's see if I can hold it through tomorrow morning. The hubby and I ate at McAlister's tonight. It's my favorite place! I had half of a chicken salad croissant and a small bowl of chicken tortilla soup. Water to drink. (I only drink water) I did work out at the gym this morning, so that was good and hopefully helpful.

So. . . my favorite issue of People magazine is on the shelves right now!

I LOVE seeing the before and after pics in this magazine. One lady caught my eye. She is 5'9" and I'm 5'10". It seems that it's always short people that show up in weight loss photos. I don't know why. So I was intrigued by her photo. I asked my husband who he thought weighed more, her or I?

For reference here is a pic of me. I wish I had a better one taken since weight loss, but I don't really. . .

Looking at the photos I'm not sure who I would say weighs more. I felt like when I was looking at her photo that I appeared thinner than her. But the photos. . . I don't know. . . I wish I had a dress like that. LOL!

Anyways, the hubby answers and says "She looks to weight about 160". I said "Well I didn't ask you how much she weighed, but how much do you think I weigh?". He then said "about 165". I said "so I weigh more?". He kind of choked around answering that. lol. I didn't ask for numbers! I then told him I weighed in at 180 that morning. (BTW - the lady weights 175 - so as of today we are pretty close!) He seemed shocked. I always wonder how I appear to people. Today we were shopping and I kept looking in the mirrors at myself and in the windows at my reflection. Generally I'm fairly happy with how I look. I'm kind of between sizes though so I need to lose some inches and rectify that!

So I'm going to go look at that magazine again. I really just get so motivated seeing all those success stories!

Measurements

Last night I got measured at the gym. The last set was done sometime in Oct. But I can't remember when exactly. I lost just over 1/2 inch from my waist. I seemed to gain in my hips. Weird. My trainer and I both thought that was weird. My thigh went up as well. But I've been doing some serious leg work with the treadmill, stairs, elliptical and bike. So that doesn't bother me too much. I was up about 2 lbs as well. But that all came recently. Part holiday gain and partly from increasing my workout. I seem to lose better when I eat right and don't work out. LOL.

I have a serious sweet tooth. I need to work on this. I have small sweet binges throughout the day. That has GOT to stop. I'm glad that my measurements are basically the same. But my size 10 jeans (I only have 2 pair as I don't fit into 10's in every brand) are feeling snug today.

The plan today is to ride Eli. He had two days off. Tuesday I didn't feel like doing both the gym and riding. Plus he got shoes that day is generally given the day off. Last night I had a session with my trainer and then I did an hour of cardio after. I'm up today - 180.2!!! AH! It better be water retention. I tend to gain after a workout with my trainer. So tonight I may not hit the gym. I don't know. I have gym clothes packed. I'm starting to get addicted to the gym because I'm worried about being in the 180's. But it might be better to take a break. We'll see how I feel after I ride. If I have a good ride I may skip it. If I have a shitty ride, then going to the gym makes me feel better.

I'm fat!

Yes you read that right. I've lost 70-75 lbs depending on the day and I'm still fat. Why do I say that? Because I think I am. I still have jiggly stupid fat. I still have love handles. And the scary part is that I don't think some of that is going to go away. I think the love handle area is actually lose skin. *gasp* This is horrifying to me. Last night as I got in the shower I stood and looked at my naked self in the mirror. I think in some ways I was happier with my body when I was fatter. (Fatter - cause I'm still fat!) Why? Because it was "firm". Firm in the sense that it wasn't saggy. BLAH! I sag everywhere. My boobs are saggy sacks of nothing. Not that they were much to begin with. I swear I'd totally have a boob job if someone were to pay for it. Not because I want bigger, but because I want prettier. I always have, they've always been fugly.

Now the second reason I'm fat is because mentally I'm fat. I'm still shocked by photos. I still feel like the fat girl in the room. I'm shocked sometimes when I see my reflection. But I'm not at goal. I don't have a goal weight. I have a goal feeling. Or a goal size. In some ways I have a weight. That weight is kind of wherever I feel comfortable and not panicky about gaining.

Let me see if I can give an example. I'm going to lay it all out there for you. Ready for the numbers?

Most people don't ever guess how much I weighed initially. I need to dig up some pics, but since I'm at work, that's not going to happen right now. I gained 50-ish lbs in 2009 because of my thyroid going whacky again. I clocked in at a maximum weight of 250lbs! Most people would never guess that. The people I tell that to are shocked. I'm 5'10" and I manage to carry my weight fairly well. Luck me huh? lol.

I started a diet on my own around Easter 2010. I did a detox that shed some weight. Then I started going to the gym. I think my weight when I started at the gym with my trainer was around 230-something. That was June 2010. My weight at my wedding was about 210 (April 2011). Not quite where I wanted it, but I thought I looked good. (Till I look back now.)

Today I weighed 179.8. I track my weight daily. I've been as low as 175.8 normally. By normally I mean when I wasn't sick. I was sick for several days in November and I got to 172-something. That was awesome! I'm a bit up from where I like to be. I like to hover at 176-177.8. I'm panicking a bit. But I'm working out hard and my clothes still fit. However, that 180 mark scares me.

That's what I mean by comfortable weight. I wanted to be below 200. I stayed at 195-ish for quite some time. I was uncomfortable there. I was SCARED of going above 200 again. I wanted to see what I looked like at 175. That was my "dream" first goal. Well I guess I got there. Close enough. But now I'm scared of going above that 180 mark. So where is my comfortable weight? I think it's in the 160's. Or at least below 175. I'm not sure. Time will tell.

But regardless I'm still fat. I'm still addicted to candy and sweets. I eat WAY too much chocolate! Today my goal is to eat less chocolate. Notice that I didn't say *no* chocolate. LOL. I leave for Cancun in under 2 weeks and I'd like to back in the 176 range so I can feel like it's ok to eat! :)

End of 2011

So this was suppose to be a riding blog I suppose. I never really stuck to that. I'm sick of my riding. Last night was horrible. The stress at my barn is just too high. I just don't want to be around some people and I can't let go of the tension when I ride. I can't even connect my horse. I mean there would be no chance at a decent intro level ride. How pathetic is that?

So as we move into 2012 I think I may turn this into a weight loss or weight maintenance blog. Or maybe just a catch all blog. Does a blog really need to have a theme? I guess not.

This past year I lost quite a bit of weight. Most people don't know how I did it. And I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to share that. I am maintaining relatively well. Till the holidays hit. Ouch. I'm 3-4 lbs above where I like to be. My fat % monitor is holding steady. And I've increased the workouts (I'm SORE). So maybe it's not that bad, but I'm stressed about it. Today is a yogurt day to try and correct this. I have another holiday celebration on Sunday. And in just over 2 weeks we leave for Cancun. I'd like to be below my happy weight when we leave. So I can enjoy the food and drinks!

As we move into 2012 I have a lot of goals in mind. More than I've ever had before. Weight loss is at the top. Or at least loss of inches. I'm at the point where I could gain weight due to muscle and toning. Also at the top of the list is being more frugal. That might be really hard for me. I need to save more money. I want a house damn it! So I need to stop spending money so easily. Also I want to make a decision about what to do with my riding. I'm not happy with the status quo. (Why is chrome telling me that is spelled wrong? Google says that is correct.) *shrug* Anyways, one more thing on the immediate to do list is to make an appointment with an orthopedist about my hip. It's been hurting me a lot lately. Let's see if I can at least get that done in January.

I hope everyone has a great New Year's. I don't really celebrate this holiday. It annoys me. And I think I'm more depressed about all these challenging goals I have this year to even think about partying. So I'll probably bring in the New Year in my favorite way - sleeping. Might as well start the New Year out doing what I love. :)

I'm back!

I got my blog back. Whew! It got connected to some temp google account. What a mess. I was going to see if they could just remove the whole thing cause I didn't want it to be hanging in cyber space forever without having access to it. I finally buckled down to see if I could figure it out myself. I did! Yay! :)