Monday, May 21, 2012

Bod Pod

What's a Bod Pod?

It's that thing!  LOL.  You sit inside after getting weighed by its associated scale.   Then it does something three times. . . at least the dude opens and close the door three times.  I read air pressure changes to measure you but I don't honestly know.  I didn't feel anything but I heard a few pops and hisses.  The whole thing takes maybe 2 mins.  You sit very still and breathe normally.

I did this Friday afternoon at my gym.  Cost me $60 but apparently it measures your body composition more accurately than anything else (like the hand held fat monitor I use).  And I believe the dude said it was FDA approved.  And since the FDA is so damn smart this thing must be the way to go eh?  Ha!  Oh and the guy in the photo - same dude that did my analysis. LOL.  They haul the thing around in this truck, so you do everything in the truck.

My results?

I weighed 184.7 on the scale at 4PM Friday.  Probably about right as I gain a couple lbs as the day goes on. But I was wearing almost nothing.  Tiny compression shorts that make me look FAT and a sports bra.  I'm 29.8% fat.  Which is interesting. . . I haven't used my handheld monitor in a while but that's about where it was the last time. (so much for being more accurate and he warned me that it would probably read higher since it can detect the deep down fat around your organs)  Now at 4PM if I use the same hand held monitor at the gym I will get a reading in the 30's but they are most accurate when you haven't moved much I think. So I do mine in the AM.   I was hoping that mine was reading high and I'd be much lower in the Bod Pod.  Darn it!   I have 55 lbs of fat on my body!

Now the kicker is that I'm considered "moderately lean".

I fall just below 30%.  Thank god!   LOL.  But I would not use the word "lean" to describe myself in any way, shape or form. No way!   My first goal is 25% fat and then I'll reassess from there.

The most interesting part of this study was that it tells me what my RMR is.  RMR = Resting Metabolic Rate.  I'm not sure how that's different from BMR, or Basal Metabolic Rate.  But I just assume they are similar.    The RMR is the amount of energy expended at rest.   Basically how many cals my body uses at rest for a day.

(Info sheet? What info sheet? I got one piece of paper)  My RMR is 1620 cals.  I have mixed feelings on this. My Dr told me I may be able to maintain weight on 1500 cals.  I scoffed at her cause I've read about BMR and there are calculators to figure out what yours is.  Mine was always higher than 1500.  So I assume that I should eat my BMR every day.   (RMR - whatever, again not sure what the diff is).   So I've never quite understood this.  This is basically an answer I was expecting. I couldn't remember what I'd figured in the past, but I didn't expect some stupid low number like 1200.  I think eating 1200 cals a day equates to starving. :)  I hate trying to do it and I'm a Bitch if I try.   The right side of this chart shows me my max cals based on my activity level.  Because I sit at a stupid desk all day I'm "Sedentary".   Therefore my max cals are 2009.  The guy said "so if you want lean out,, you need to eat in between this range".   Well nice Mr Bod Pod Guy but I figure that I basically do and I'm not leaning out.   So. . . I guess I gotta figure this out.

*pause in the programming*  

I just went to and my BMR = 1632.345
How similar!!!   So. . . what did I pay $60 for?  I'm still trying to figure that out.

*resume programming*

There are a multitude of other tests that they can do.  Including some weird oxygen test where they hook up to a mask and you exercise until . . . well I don't know, until they tell you to stop.  I saw a girl doing it in the gym a month or so ago.  I wouldn't know what to do with those results and I didn't want to spend the money.

So here I am with my 55lbs of fat and my daily allowed number of cals in black and white.  And of course I've gained some weight this weekend even with that 8 mile run!  Go figure. What I couldn't figure out was how to eat after that run.  I burned about 1550 cals.  So should I have added that to my 1620 and ate that much?  Some research tells me yes.  Or to eat at least half of what I burned.  Others say eat it all.  I don't know.   You certainly don't want your cals at the end of the day to be too low after putting your body through that.  I basically ate very little till dinner than we went out and I had a salad, BBQ chicken breast, a few french fries and apple pie and ice cream for dessert. I've been CRAVING apple pie out of this world. . . for weeks.  I finally thought the right day to eat it was the day I burned so many cals.   I felt less guilty and I was down 0.2 lbs the next day.  Then yesterday. .. well yesterday happened. HA!  More on that later.   For now I go back to pondering the Bod Pod results and what to do with them.  They advise a reassessment in 3 months and oh they have a deal for me!  All further reassessments are only $45.  Yippee!  Not sure if I will do it again.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

8.1 Miles!

Only 5 miles shy of a half marathon. LOL!

Yesterday I got the wild hair up my butt that I had to run 8 miles today.  No clue where I pulled 8 from, but something was telling me this.  I pondered it.  See I had to do my long run today instead of Sunday like normal because I have a photo shoot tomorrow morning and then all day plans after.   So I think about this ALL day yesterday and I decide sure - why not?

So last night I dug out the Gu I bought at a sports store about a month ago.  I froze a water bottle.  The whole time I felt strong!  Ha.  I wasn't doing anything but mentally I felt like I was ready for this.  I did not work out last night cause I knew I needed all my legs for this.

I started out a bit later than planned - 7:30.  I got hooked on Shades of Gray last night and I had to read a bit more this morning.  :)

I put my frozen water bottle at the end of the drive.  I'd pass my drive at the 5 mile mark.  It's a bit more humid again.  Off I go for the first 5 miles totally making sure my brain understands that I have to keep running after that 5 mile mark.  At mile 4 I decide to try Gu.  I have no clue what this stuff is like, but I read that the chocolate is very good.

Um this stuff tasted like chocolate frosting.  I wanted another!  So I keep running to the 5 mile mark wondering if it will kick in.  My mouth is now a bit sticky so I want water.  Mentally I hate stopping on runs. It makes the whole run "null and void" in my mind.  But. .. I have three miles to go. It's humid.  My mouth is sticky.  I pause my GPS and stop for lovely cold water.  

Of I go and my brain is now struggling.  The 1.5 mark where I turn back is so far away.  Maybe I should shoot for 7 miles?  After all 6.25 was my longest so far.  But no.  My body isn't hurting that much.  My brain is.  So I chug on.  Yay when I turn around at 6.5 miles.  I got this!  But boy oh boy the last 1.5 was TOUGH.  The last mile especially.  I could have walked faster than I was running I think.  Hell I'm pretty sure I have walked in the mall when on a shopping mission much faster than I was running. My legs were heavy but I had to get home.  And I did!  

My total time was 1:36:08.  Avg pace 11:53.  I did my first five with an avg of like 11:19 if I remember right.  But distance was the goal here. 

So my final thought of the day is "Who am I?"  Holy crap.  This girl that runs 8 miles?  I don't even know her.  I'm crazy!  And my knees are killing me!  I've iced them twice already today :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

An article to read

I was at the store last week and I saw the Newsweek Magazine

Eye Catching cover eh?   The magazine isn't that thick for the price.  I mean I'd pay $5 for Cosmo but Newsweek?  So I had a friend yank the magazine from an online "source".  LOL  I did manage to find the article online afterwards though.

I am not fortunate enough to have HBO or I'd have been glued to the documentary "The Weight of the Nation" that aired this week.  I'm sad I missed it.  I believe you can order it online eventually . . . I thought I saw it wouldn't be released till July.  I'll be over it by then. lol

One of the things I struggle with is what/how to eat.  I realize that I can't eat a lot of carbs.  That just doesn't agree with my body and I gain weight.  That's fine.  However, meat is something I think about ALL the time.  I love meat.  I eat chicken   Sometimes multiple times a day!   I bought "The China Study" and started to read it.  I didn't get very far but I could see that if I had I'd probably give up meat.  And then I'd probably be getting a divorce.  LOL.  I say that tongue-in-cheek but not really.  My hubby is a farm boy.  He was raised to have the steak and potato dinner.  While we've given up carbs at dinner I'm not sure we could live together if I gave up meat.  It's hard enough cooking for 2 but to cook 2 different things all the time?   *shrug*  

This article hints just a little bit at meat.  I had hoped it would talk more about it.  The Paleo Diet is huge right now and I'm wondering about it. . . a year ago I wasn't at the point where I could do a diet like that.  Since I've cut out a LOT of carbs I think maybe I could now. . . at least with minimal cheating. :)    From what I've read it sure does seem like America blew up when the "low fat" craze hit.  When you remove fat from something you have to replace it with something else.  And that replacement is fake shit.   I don't eat low fat. I eat cheese.  Twice a day generally.  And it's not low fat.   I add heavy cream to my yogurt to get more fat. It's hard to find full fat Greek Yogurt.  And while Fage has a version I'm not fond of the texture.  And so far I've been maintaining pretty well.  So I won't be trying a low-fat diet any time soon.  But really all this processed food is what is contributing to our problem.   At least it seems so. In the article there's a comment about how even though Americans are doing what the government has told them (low-fat, no meats, etc) we are still gaining weight.   Interesting huh?  So is meat really a problem?  Is it really so bad for us?  We were born to hunt and eat meat.  That's what the paleo diet is based on after all.  I don't think there were fat cavemen!   I walk into stores and there is so much JUNK.  It's gross.   I shop the perimeter of the grocery store and you can't even avoid it there anymore.   At Walgreens, the check out lady always asks me if I want to buy the candy bar on the counter.  They have this weird thing where she gets a nickle for everyone she sells.  It's a different variety every time I go in.   Junk is just pushed on  us everywhere!   Until that changes I think obesity will continue to rise.

Ok - I'm no expert and I don't pretend to be.  I just wanted to share the article and I'm going to keep reading and researching :)   Next up is researching about juicing.  I need to find a way to eat more veges and maybe a juicer is in my future?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Wednesday: Up a pound

I had such high hopes for this week's weigh in and I blew it.  I was doing SO good.   Last week I was 181.6.  This week I'm 182.6.   But I'm going to post the chart since last Monday - the 7th.  That's when I hit my panic weight remember.  Check out the numbers.  I really buckled down!

I was proud of myself through Sunday.  The Wham!   What happened you ask?   Well. . . I did really well at Mother's Day gatherings.   But it was the season finale of Once Upon A Time.  And I promised myself that if I did good all week I would have:

MIKE'S PLACE!!!!!  PIZZA!!!  This is a little dive bar in a small tiny little town.  The town doesn't have a gas station. . . I don't think there's a post office.  It has a few bars and a church.  All the best towns in IL only have bars and churches. LOL    Mike's Place has the best pizza and I'm currently addicted.  I live for the next time I can have it.  My trainer has said that one high calorie day is good for you when you do well the rest of the week.  So this was my genius plan.  And I think we can all see I did do well the entire week! Normally we order the pizza cooked.  This time I decided I wanted to try the take and bake.  I had hubby go get it that afternoon while I was at the barn.  That way we could time it perfectly and enjoy it while watching Once Upon A Time.  They tell you not to eat in front of the TV, but screw that.  We baked it on our pampered chef pizza stone and OMG!  This was like pizza utopia or something.  The crust was freaking amazing!   I drool just thinking about it now.  I ate three pieces.  I still thought this was ok though because I ran 5 miles that morning and burned 800 cals.  I was really good that day and I was starving.  And I did NOT have the coke I was craving.  Pizza and coke just belong together like Fred and Wilma.   

Well as you can see I jumped up Monday morning.  I wasn't too worried as I thought I could buckle down. But no... I had a bad eating day on Monday.  Then yesterday mother nature arrived and well. . . chocolate!  So here I am and it's Wednesday and I wanted to be in the 170's so bad and here I am again making no progress. 

What the hell is wrong with me?  I think I do have a bit of a plateau at that 179.  I think 180 is an old weight point for me.  I was maintaining at 176-179 for many months but I can't get back down there now.  I'm going to have to buckle down to get all the way to 170.  But I also wonder if it's a mental barrier as well.   Can I do it?  I think mentally I'm almost there cause I'm getting pissed. lol.  

So a question for those that have lost weight: when do you toss your old clothes?  I threw out a lot of my bigger clothing.  Like the 18-20's.  But I kept many 16's.   I'm in a 12/14 comfortably now and a 10 uncomfortably.  So I just couldn't part with the 16's in case. . . just in case. . . I don't know how strong my willpower is.  I don't know when my thyroid is going to whack out again.   I kept the dress clothes too because for crying out loud I rarely wear dress clothes! So if I do gain back I don't want to buy new dress clothes too.  However, my house is bursting at the seams.  And part of me wonders if I finally remove the clothing if my mental state would be a bit better?  Is it a crutch?  I don't know.  I've had it packed up (well most of it) for months and month now.  It's just something taking up space and I don't really "see" it as clothing.   I see it as clutter. So I'm pondering a big donation to Goodwill.  I don't know. . . 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Benefits of being sick

Weight loss!  LOL.   Ok so I wasn't really that sick.  Just sick enough to not "want" to eat much.  Yesterday I left work around 3:15 and made my way to Target to get some generic dayquil and nyquil.   I was in such a sick haze.  I really should have taken a temp yesterday but I never did.  I got my medicine and half-heartedly looked for a mother's day card for my mom.  I failed there, but did manage to get her a DVD she wants.  Starbucks is right across the street and I LOVE the banana chocolate smoothies.  They aren't really that bad for you.  They contain one whole banana, milk, ice, protein powder and some mocha syrup.  I use to make them myself at home.  I even bought the mocha powder from Starbucks so that it would taste as close to the same as possible.  I didn't eat my banana yesterday so I thought I'd treat myself to a smoothie.  Nice cold thick drinks are always yummy when you are sick.   I LOVED it!   Plus I needed the liquid as I wasn't drinking as much water as normal.

I got home and I took a nap!  I never nap.  Mentally I struggle with napping.  My brain can't relax.  It thinks that naps are a waste of time.   It took me probably a good 30 mins to fall asleep. My hubby came in at one point and while my brain was still "awake", my body was already falling and was in that zone where I couldn't move.  I heard him look at me.  Mr Blue (one of our cats) meowed.  He said "Shh. . ." and grabbed him and took him out and closed the bedroom door. :)   That cat can totally keep you awake if he wants to, but he's worse in the morning when he knows it's time to get up.  I slept till almost 7:00 I think. It felt great!

This morning I happily got on the scale because I knew I'd be down.  179!!!!!   Check out this chart since Monday's panic weight:

That's a loss of 6.6 lbs!  Crazy huh?  Some of that is temporary due to being sick I'm sure.  Though I really didn't rid myself of very much food in ways that you normally do when you are sick.  So we'll see.   Also this is right down at my plateau.  176-179 is honestly where I'm stuck.  It would be nice if I could see this kind of loss from the 179 mark, but I'm not holding my breath.  Why is 170 so unattainable?!   So now I feel human again today and I'm prepared to remain on track today so that I don't screw up a good thing.  It's easy to slip when you have some good numbers like this.   It's one of the things I'm working on.

So today I was poking around my computer here at work.  I found a photo that I thought was interesting and was good motivation for me today.  Every year in April I'm lucky enough to get to go to the Rolex KY 3 Day Event at the KY Horse Park in Lexington as a photographer.   For non horse people this is the biggest 3 day eventing competition hosted here in the US.  It's international level and this year it was part of the Olympic selection trials.  Major stuff going on here. :)  In 2010 a friend sent me a few photos she took of me.  I was in the ring that year for show jumping.  Only a select few photographers get to be in the ring during show jumping.  And since that year, for some reason it's less and less.  They've done away with the press pit they use to put in there.  No one from our group was in the ring this year.  When she sent me the photo I was appalled at how fat I was!  This was April 2010.  In 09 I gained 50 lbs cause my thyroid meds seemed to stop working.  If I remember right I did a detox starting the day after Easter that year.  So I had dropped a few lbs already before this photo was taken.  I had finally found a new Dr and this was right at the beginning of my weight loss journey and the path to finding a new solution for my thyroid.   So I pulled a photo off of FB from Rolex this year so that I could compare.  The photo from 2010 was taken from pretty far away as my friend was in her seat. . . so when cropping in it's bad quality.  And while it's not the best comparison photo, you get the idea.  

My all time high weight was 250.  So I'd guess I'm in the 240's there on the left.  This year at Rolex well you all know where I hover - 180-ish.  :)   Now that I'm thinking about it this is really a true representation of high and low.  While I hit 175 for a moment (75 lbs lost!) I say that I lost 70lbs since that's where my body seems to say.  This photo is as close as it gets.  I'll have to dig around and see if I can find any more comparisons.

On the right - I'm standing on a "Thera-Plate".   It vibrates like crazy.  It's suppose to help aches and pains.  I was standing there hoping to help my hip feel better.  Can't say it did much.  Maybe felt better for 30 mins. They make these for horses.  I think it's pretty impractical to own something like this, but I did get a name of someone that lives about 3 hours from me that has one.  I thought about seeing what my horse thinks about it. :)   We'll see. . .

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wednesday Weigh - In

It's only Wednesday and I'm ready for this week to be over. OMG!  It's just been a rough week.  Work is sucking just a bit.  We have to dress up three (maybe 4) days this week.   We only dress up when we have guests, or the threat of guests!   Sometimes they don't come and most of the time I never see them even if they do.   Putting on jeans and t-shirt for work in the morning is WAY easier than dressing up.  It makes for rough mornings for me.

Yesterday I had a session with my trainer at the gym.  I was really tired going into it.  I felt blah.  He of course wouldn't have any of that, but I fought him and made him let me box which seems to entertain me and help with my mood.  I didn't have the best workout but I pushed through.  An hour after my workout I was at home and just got out of the shower when BAM!  I felt horrible.  I honestly thought I was going to pass out.  I thought it was low blood sugar.  My husband wasn't home yet and I generally try to eat dinner within an hour of working out.  I ate some watermelon when I got home though.  So while I was hungry, I didn't think I should be feeling like I did.  I choked down dinner.  I felt so weak I didn't want to be on my feet.  Then the tell-tale body aches started. Yup those body aches indicate a fever for me.  I had a low grade one.  I felt SO awful.  It was a rough night of sleep but I feel better today.  My stomach feels touchy though.  I need to eat breakfast but I'm afraid! lol.  This might make for a good diet day.  We'll see. . . sometimes when I don't feel good I eat things I shouldn't.   Specifically I drink things I shouldn't like chocolate milk and soda.  I think I can pull through this though.

Today the scale said 181.6.  Whew!  I dropped FAST from that 185.6.

There are the numbers in all their glory.  5/2 was last wed and 5/9 is today.   So even though my weight went all over the place, I'm down 1.2 lbs.  I guess. . . I can't commit to it cause my weight just goes up and down all the time.  A gain is never permanent but neither is a loss.  I'm really mentally fighting with myself.  I want to get down to the 176-178 range again and hold there.  That seems to be such a struggle since I started running. I ate really well these last 2 days and I'm hoping I can mentally push through for the week.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

If I Could Turn Back Time

Well I'm not sure what would happen.  I'd roll the clock back to the fall of 2008 and not take the riding lesson that ruined my hip.   That fall I had a lesson with my trainer's wife.  It was a lunge lesson.  For the non-horse people that read this blog that means I sat on the horse without reins and stirrups.  The horse was attached to a line held by the trainer and went in a circle around her.  I then work on myself and do all kinds of funny things with my body at all three gaits.   

This horse was wide. . . way wider than my skinny thoroughbred.   Just sitting on this horse really stretched my legs. When you are riding a horse without stirrups your legs really stretch down and your muscles really elongate.   It can be quite surprising what muscles get worked in your inner thighs when you do this.  You can really feel the burn!   Part of the lesson includes some stretching on the horse that you just can't mimic on the ground due to how you are straddling the horse.  At least I haven't found a way to duplicate it.  An exercise ball does NOT mimic a horse.  Trust me! :)   

The trainer wanted me to raise my legs up and off (away from) the horse.   The only way I can describe it is similar to how you would do the splits.  The legs come out and away from the body.  I found this very difficult at the time.  The horse alone was stretching my legs enough in my opinion.  He was just so WIDE!  I couldn't get my legs but like an inch from the horse.   "More!" she said.  I tried. I said "I can't".  I said "this horse is stretching me simply by sitting on him".  "More!" she said.  So I kept trying.  Thinking surely I can just do a bit more and we can move on.  And we did move on. . . 

A few hours after that lesson my right hip burned.  And if I remember right it basically burned every day for two weeks.  I think it subsided at night, but it's been so long I don't remember.  I remember seeing the trainer shortly after and she said "good that means we stretched something".  I wasn't so sure "good" was the word to use.   Over the course of the next few weeks/month my hip would hurt when riding that wide horse.  And sometimes my own horse.  Then it would hurt if I had days of lots of walking.  I sit at a desk all day.  So let's say on the weekend I did some serious mall shopping.  Or a day at the zoo.  I'd hurt so bad on those days!  Static standing also annoyed my hip. 

I went to my dr.  I had xrays.  I went to a chiropractor.  I went to a massage therapist.  I did physical therapy.  I had the stupid electrical tens machine (or whatever they call it) hooked to my hip after every therapy session.  I never had a diagnosis.  I did get my hip bursa injected at one point.  That helped for a while.  Drugs did not help.   At least not over the counter drugs.  When I found a new doc for my thyroid problem she gave me Celebrex and Tylenol with Codeine when we went to Europe in 2010.  The Celebrex had to be started a few weeks prior.  The Tylenol was for days if I over did it.  Both actually did relieve the pain for me.   

Recently the pain has been more noticeable.  Sleeping has been a challenge.  If there is one thing in the world I love and cherish dearly it is sleep!   This past weekend I really struggled and I woke up multiple times through the night in pain.  I took a Tylenol with Codeine one night, but it didn't help. Maybe they are a bit old? lol   We have a sleep number bed and I played around with that.  When we were on a trip in 09 I realized that the hard ass bed at the hotel really helped my hip the next day even though I woke up in back pain.  The good thing about that is my back relaxes as I move and feels better (the hip rarely feels better if I wake up in pain) and I went a whole day (with lots of walking) with NO hip pain.  WOW!   So I upped the number on my bed this weekend.  It didn't really help this time. I lowered it again Sunday night and the past two nights have been better. . . . but there are still some aches in that hip.  What scares me is that my other hip is aching at times too!  Compensation?  Maybe, but it worries me.   

I finally took the advice of my new Dr and I made an appt with an Orthopedic center.  I didn't use her referral but that of a friend that had hip surgery last year.  I'm going to Washington University Orthopedic center in St Louis.  A bit of a drive for me, but I think they are good at what they do.  The bad thing is the appt isn't until June 12th.  On that day I see a physiatrist first.  He will do range of movement tests (which I will pass!) as well as just an overall history and probably some poking, prodding (ouch!) and xrays.   Then at another appt (tick tock - this takes a lot of time!) I think I will have a CAT scan or MRI with some dye injected in my hip.  At least this is what my friend had done.  THEN depending on what that shows I can finally meet with a surgeon.  That's the worrisome part.  I'm not sure I want surgery.  My friend told me all the stuff you CAN'T do for weeks following.  Holy crap!   I'm already thinking of how much weight I will gain. Blah!   She told me her surgeon said if she hadn't come in when she did she would have had to have a hip replacement eventually.  Double Holy Crap!  That scared me into making the appt.  I'm 33.  I do NOT want a hip replacement.  EVER.  It's bad enough I feel like I'm 60 some days when I get out of bed.   

Anyways, I've never really talked about this issue to this extent.  My appointment is just over a month away and while I can't wait, I'm nervous as heck.  And of course it's in the middle of the day and this just eats away at my PTO.  Ugh.  

So before I go I will say I'm down 2.6 lbs this morning and weighed in at 183!  Whew.  But still that's too high for me.  So I will repeat how I ate yesterday and see what happens tomorrow.  I was really proud of how well I ate.  I didn't have a single bite of chocolate till after dinner!  go me! 

Here is a motivational blog for you all to read - I quite enjoyed it.  Very true:

Monday, May 7, 2012

Panic Button!!!!!

Oh my!  I don't know where to begin.  I missed 2 Wednesday blogs so let's start there. 

4/25/12 - I left for a trip this day and my weight was 180.8  - down 0.8 from the previous Wed.
5/2/2012 - 182.8 (UGH!)

So that brings me to today.  I hit my panic weight this morning.  That magical number has been 185 for me.  The max weight I'd hit this year was 183.6 and I was trying to be ok with that.  I knew with running I could gain weight.  I read about it all over the internet.   I tried to swallow my disappointment and push through.  Then Sunday I was at 184.8.  WHY?  I ran Saturday.  I ate well.   Or so I thought.   I ignored it.  Yesterday morning I ran.  I did 5 miles. But I implemented the run/walk method.  It was so crazy humid here and I wasn't acclimating well.  The only way I could make 5 was to walk at some point.  So I ran 0.9 miles and walked 0.1.  I watched another blogger do this and it was working well for her.  So off I went with my RunKeeper app set to alert me of the intervals.  I actually ran the last 0.1 cause I was close to home and made myself. :)  LOL.  I have no idea if this affected my overall pace.  The other blogger hasn't noticed it affect hers. My pace was a min slower than normal, but I was running so slow!  I mean I really am struggling with this weather.  So I couldn't judge what the walking did for me.  But I spent over an hour outside in the heat and humidity and I burned at least 800 cals!  (I don't remember what my watch told me.  I was too happy to be home in the AC to care!).

So I really watched what I ate yesterday.  Sure I had some chocolate.  But I burned some serious cals.  And I didn't have that much.  But wow oh wow.  The scale was sure unhappy with me this morning. 

185.6!!!!!!!!!  TIME TO PANIC!

I have no idea why this is.  I don't know what to do.  I really really really do NOT want to do another round of my diet.  But I will if I have to I guess.  I need to get a grip on this.  Do I need to stop running?  I know someone that lost more weight when they didn't work out.  But then you are just fat-skinny.  I like muscle!   I'm really struggling with this today.  It's like someone died.  I'm just a complete emotional mess!   And yes I want to drown my sorrows in fatty foods and chocolate.  I need to get a grip.  I need you all to smack some sense in me.  I have to buckle down.  I need to lose weight on my own.  Period.  Without doing another round of my diet.  I need to figure this out with eating right and exercising.   I need to stop making excuses.   I need to do this!  I can do this!   

That's this month's spreadsheet.  Again the avg is not cumulative - it starts over every month.  I guess I need to work on figuring out how I can change that.  I have nothing else to say.  I'm just staring at the numbers.  I need to figure something out.   And FAST!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wednesday Blahs

I'm up 1 lb from last week.  I have no excuses.  I had control then I don't know what happened. 

Last Wed: 180.6  /  29.5% Fat
Thurs: 179.6
Fri: 179.4
Sat: 179.8
Sun: 180.2
Mon: 182.2
Tue: 182.6
Wed: 181.6  (+1 lbs) / 29.4% Fat

Look at all those 179's!  I was getting so excited.  Saturday I tried not to eat too much.  We were out and about during the day. . . I believe I posted about my crappy Sat.  Plans changed and we ended up going to a restaurant with hubby's mom.  I had BBQ Chicken breast, some fries, a side salad, a roll and then a piece of blackberry pie for dessert.   Sounds like a lot, but it wasn't too bad.  I wasn't uncomfortable.  I was hungry to start. But I was only up .4.  I thought I could take care of that.   

Sunday I was super busy and on the road. . . I didn't eat much at all as I was purposely saving calories cause knew we were having PIZZA!  I enjoyed the pizza, but every time I save calories for dinner the scale backfires on me.  Up 2 lbs the next day.   Now this week is TOM.  BLAH.   So I always gain some weight then.  Usually close to 1.5 lbs.  Maybe some of that was from TOM.  I don't know.  Anyways, it was down some today.  So it was it is and I'm moving on. 

So as the last post mentioned the 5K was canceled.  I was so bummed.  It's rough to have a goal ripped out from under you.  I know I worked hard.  I know my accomplishments aren't all about one race.  But it flat out sucked.   

Then yesterday I got an email from Eli's trainer.  Eli and I have had some rough going lately.  We were not getting along and I was questioning if I should still be riding.   I did well with my weight loss and adapting in the saddle because of it.  Or so I thought.  Then I started running and it seemed like everything in the saddle went downhill.  I think to some extent I don't know how much muscle I have in certain places.  Tension in my body is projected to Eli much stronger now.  Running is also not conducive to a good seat in the saddle so that's been challenging.  I decided to send Eli to my trainer's for 6 weeks.  I wanted a break.  He needed a break from me.  I wanted time to think.  I still see him most weekends and I've been taking lunge lessons to help work on my body and reconnect my brain and my body.   Yesterday however my trainer told me Eli is no longer progressing and is actually going the opposite way.  He feels there are issues in his back and maybe hocks.  Hocks and back are a viscous circle and it's hard to tell if one causes the other or vise versa. They suggested mesotherapy and I haven't heard of that.  So I'm researching.  Ultimately though I'm picking Eli up on Sat to bring him home.  I was in tears most of the evening last night.   I wanted to go get him right away.  Just to be with him.  But my schedule doesn't allow that.  I'm sad because while I thought about giving up dressage I didn't necessarily want to give up fun riding.  And I realize I don't know what's wrong.  But my opinion is that when it's a back or hock issue that you never really fix it. That you simply buy some comfort and maybe some time.   I just feel deep down that this is the beginning of retirement for my baby.  We'll see.  I'm not trying to jump to conclusions.   But I do know him. . . . Anyways, I use to have a goal of getting my USDF Bronze medal.  Maybe not with Eli, but I could get some scores with him.  In recent years, even though I'm working with a talented trainer, I've realized that would likely not happen.  My trainer's barn is full of great riders and $$$ horses.  I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable showing with them.  And I'm a rider that needs a trainer at a show.  Not to mention they'd be there anyways so going solo would be awkward.   Showing is also very very expensive and I have other goals in life.  I *REALLY* want a house! So bad I can taste it.   So it's been a mental struggle to give up that goal.  And I have a hard time having a hobby that costs this much money without having something to work towards.  I'm not a "weekend" horse owner.  I don't own Eli to just pet him and feed him carrots.  Now when he retires that is a different story.  I promised him forever and he'll have a forever home with me.   So I'm struggling right now trying to decide what to do.  Diagnosing this issue is going to cost tons of $.  So is treating it.   Do I keep throwing money in him? Or do I simply give him time off?  Do I move him to a cheaper barn, give time off and slowly bring him into work again for fun and for trail riding? I don't know.  The barn I board at is expensive and really set up for horses that are ridden. Turn out is not good.  If he can't be ridden and really worked he needs to move.  I'm just so deflated right now.   I feel like the rug has been pulled out of me this week.  I didn't reach my running goal. . . who knows where my riding is. Both have been very time consuming activities for me.  Yesterday I just drowned my sorrows in a coke from McD's (the BEST fountain coke anywhere) and a bowl of ice cream.  How I lost a pound is beyond me. 

However last night I worked out with my trainer and I got to box.  I asked to do it. I've wanted to do it for a long time.   My old trainer never would let me, so now I have a new one and we did it!  Apparently I'm a left handed fighter. I hit harder with my left hand.  Strange.  I had a blast and forgot my worries for a brief time.  

I posted this photo on FB last night:

Yeah my head is cut off.  Hubby took it.  The kitty is the focus.   I love little puff ball kitties.  This one was found all alone in hubby's shop.   I don't know who the mom is and there appear to be no siblings.   Anyways everyone went on and on about how skinny I looked.  Really?  You can't see my fat hips!   I have lost the same 5 lbs over and over and over again for months.  I'm not skinny!   Hell my bones aren't skinny.  I don't think I'll ever use me and skinny in the same sentence.  But whatever. I was amused.  I do think my face is thin though and that always takes me by surprise. .  . 

 That's all I got today.  I'll leave with a photo of my Eli.  I stop by while I was in Springfield on Sunday (for non horse stuff) to take him out for some grass.  He wasn't very happy about posing for the photo.  That meant he had to stop eating!  

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Seriously disappointed

I slept like crap last night.  I got a charlie horse in my calf at 2AM.  I was worried about oversleeping.  The alarm went off at 5.  We left the house at 6:30 to drive to St Louis for the 5K.  The advice was to get there 45 mins before the 8AM start.  By 7:30 it was raining.  By 7:45 there was lightening.  They pushed the event back 15 mins for a 8:15 start.   At 8AM they canceled all events for the day and handed out the medals.  Did I even want my medal?  I wasn't sure.  I got it though. My mom wanted to take a photo of me and I started crying. LOL..  I was so disappointed.  I've been training for 3 months.  All I wanted to do was run and be timed.  I wanted to say I finished it.  I wanted to wear the shirt proudly.  Instead I was cold and damp and it's almost noon and I still haven't run.

I'm just bummed. I know I can run 3.1 miles.  I just really wanted to do this.  To say I did it.  Now I can't.  Now I have to sign up for another one and do this all again.  I was ready to move on to life after a 5K. . .

Friday, April 13, 2012

Ready or not. . . 5K here I come!

I have been a horrible slug today.  I ate like crap.  Literally.  2 doughnuts!  Several pieces of chocolate.  McAlister's for dinner: half a chicken salad croissant and a bowl of cheesy tortilla soup.  Plus a coke.  I've been good all week!  Tues - Fri morning the scale has dropped every.single.morning!   What the heck happened to me today?  I was SO tired and SO hungry.  It wasn't cravings.  I know the difference.  I was genuinely hungry.

Today I had to go pick up my race packet.  With 2500 people in the 5K the suggested you pick up your packet today at the health expo.  So I did.  The health expo is in downtown St Louis. . . along with the home opener of the Cardinals game and a NRA (National Rifle Association) convention.  Tomorrow we have another cards game, the NRA thing still and a Blues Playoff game.   Wow.  St Louis planned everything on the same weekend!  LOL.  I braved the traffic and hit the health expo.  

I have to confess one of the reason I entered a 5K was so I could proudly wear the shirt!  I expected a generic T-shirt.  We got a Brooks tech shirt - the kind that wick sweat.  YAY!  I ordered a large.  They said they were running small.  The large looked tiny.  I took an XL.  I tried it on.  It was a bit big around the middle.  The shoulders were perfect.  I went back and tried on a L.  It felt tight.  It looked better, but I thought it looked tight.  A lady told me it looked perfect.  I'm a believer that tighter clothing makes you look thinner than clothing that hangs.  I made myself get the L because I will NOT gain weight.  I want to keep training and lose weight.  So why get the XL right?  It took me probably 20 mins to decide this. I'm pathetic  I know.

Sorry that isn't a better pic of the shirt.  But you get the idea.  I'm likely not wearing it in the race tomorrow.  I don't like wearing sleeves when running.  Is it taboo to not wear the shirt?   I don't know.   The timer thingy is on the back of the number thingy.  Yes thingy is a technical term. lol  So we can't bend that thing.  Guess that will go on at the last minute.

One of the issues I've had since the temp has increased I'm dealing with sweat at the end of my longer runs.   Katie has mentioned Bondi Bands and I've looked at the site several times.  I couldn't decide.  Didn't want to pay shipping. . . etc.  They were at the health expo.  I got three bands.  One is plain black and two have sayings . . .sayings that are VERY true. . . neither one is more true than the other actually.  I seriously do run so I can eat chocolate. . . and I love/hate running.  :)

So the race is at 8AM tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday Weigh In

I chose Wednesday's because it's the middle of the week.  I tend to slip on weekends.  Who wants Monday weigh ins?  That old cliche about "I'll start my diet on Monday" just gets to me.  I've done that many times.  So I want nothing associated to Mondays.   Wednesday gives me time to buckle down a bit if we ate out on the weekend.   

This week was a roller coaster ride for me.   Here's my numbers. 
Reminder the chart shows (Date/Weight/Avg/Loss)

I hit that dreaded 183.6 again.  I HATE that number.   The interesting thing is that I hit that Monday morning.   Sunday was Easter.  I was actually really good that day.  I ran 5 miles that morning.  I had my regular breakfast.  For lunch at my Granny's I had a funeral dog (a hot dog with skin) without a bun, some kind of salad with peas that I had to pick out (so mostly lettuce), and probably 5 wings.  I eat high protein, so all this was good.  I had a small piece of angel food cake.  No icing.  So probably the best cake choice I could have made.  I took a couple bites of another dessert (chocolate) that my hubby was eating.   However, I felt like a slug when I got home.  I hate sitting around all day.  It makes me tired.  So I went on a 10.5 mile bike ride.  I did have a Baby Binks (a small hollow bunny).   I had yogurt for dinner because we burnt a pizza on the grill :(    I didn't track the food, but I burned 1300 cals working out.  So I thought I was doing fairly well.  Then I was up 2lbs the next day!  How does that happen?  I was really disappointed.   

I started tracking my food on SparkPeople again yesterday.  I hate tracking.  It does make me conscious of what I'm eating though.   I still ate chocolate.  I am a confessed chocoholic.  I will always have it in my life.  I did get an email from SparkPeople today entitled "How To Finally Pull Your Sweet Tooth".   This is the article it linked to   I thought that was perfect timing given my struggle.  Of course I know all the stuff in the article.   I just can't detox from sweets.    Besides fruit, sweets seems to be the majority of my carbs.  I rarely eat bread.  I don't eat pasta.   I don't really eat potatoes other than the occasional french fry. I don't eat grains other than quinoa.  I am considering attempting to add oatmeal (blah!) to my diet.  Pinterest had some interesting cold oat creations that I'd like to try.  I'm not sure about that yet. 

Speaking of chocolate.  I cannot believe I'm going to post this photo.  First let me show you a regular baby binks: 

They are smaller than the average hollow bunny.  They are 4 1/2 inches tall and 2 oz. (based on what I just found online).   I LOVE these things.  Hollow chocolate is my weakness.  I have 5 of these stocked up from pre-Easter shopping.  On Monday I hit the stores looking for some baby binks at half price.  I failed.   However, I did hit the ultimate jackpot.   This photo was taken after I got home and I just had a session at the gym.  I didn't realize my hair is a hot mess.  But . . . look what I found!

OMG!  That is a BIG Binks!!!   It's 2 lbs of chocolate!   I just couldn't resist.   It was half price!   It is not opened yet.  I'm not sure how I'm going to store it. If the info I found online is correct, by my math that baby is 4800 cals.   So once I open it I have to store what I don't eat for future eating.  And yes, I'm trying to lose weight. This was not a smart purchase.  Not even close.  But come on!   How was I not suppose to buy it?  LOL.  

Now let's look at me in that photo. . .  blah.  My upper arms are fatter than I thought they were.  See that roll on my stomach.  That will not go away and I'm pretty sure most of it is flabby extra skin.  It's on the front and the sides.  Then I'm wearing these cute capris with a blue stripe that accentuate my saddle bags.  I want those to GO AWAY!    I was hoping running would just jiggle them off.   Not happening.   I have to eat right to get rid of those I think.  So this may be my motivation photo.  Bunny and all.  :) 

Saturday is my 5K.  I can't believe it's here already.  My knees are bothering me and I had ice on both of them yesterday.  Today I was suppose to run.   I wanted to run 3-4 miles.  Tomorrow I have a session with my trainer.  Friday I was going to be off and Saturday morning at 8 AM is my race.  I don't know if I can run today.  My knees are still tender.  I also got a stuffy head and sore throat last night.  So I may just have to rest up and go in cold.  I ran 5 miles Sunday.  Monday I worked out with my trainer.  Yesterday I did a quick mile working on form and speed.  I ran that mile in 9:28 and there was no way I could sustain that any longer.  So can I really not run again till Saturday?  I may not have a choice.  We'll see.    I hope to post this weekend!   Have a great week!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


Ok. . . so the Blogger interface changed and I can't say I like it.  :(  This is my first post since changing. . . feels strange.

I struggled this week.  Not just with weight, but with running as well.  Friday I got home early and decided to run 5 miles. I always do my 5 mile run on Sunday mornings. . .  I just felt like a slug when I started running.  I had a side stitch that I could not get rid of!  I was going to cut the run short by stopping at my parents' house, but I told myself it didn't matter if I walked, I was doing 5 miles.  So I did.  I walked twice for a total of about 1.5 miles.  The side stitch never really left.  :(  I felt like I weighed 1000 lbs!  It was strange.

Here's the problem. . . once I walk things change for me mentally.  So Sunday morning I went to do the same 5 miles and I FORCED myself to run the whole thing.  It was somewhat of a physical struggle but definitely a mental one.  I made it.  It sucked.   The heat and humidity really increased this weekend so maybe that was part of the problem.  I did 4 miles Monday morning (I was off work) and it was also a struggle, but more of a physical one since it was a different route and I knew it was shorter.  Both days my heart rate was higher than it has been so I knew I was struggling.  I tried to slow down on Monday but I tend to run with negative splits and I never did manage to slow down. I need to work on that.  Next Saturday the 14th is my first official 5K race! YAY! :)  I'm excited.

So let's talk about the weekly number.  (BLAH!)

A new month in my spreadsheet brings new colors!  The avg column is done monthly and not cumulative. . . I'm not an Excel pro, so I wonder if I can make it cumulative.  I like seeing how I do per month though.  But that's why 4/1 brings a higher avg.   I gotta get that back down!

It was our anniversary on Monday.   Saturday night we went to dinner at TGIFridays.  I had steak.  But I'm sure it was loaded with cals.  I had popcorn and soda at the theater. The 1 lb gain was expected.  Oh we saw Mirror Mirror with Julia Roberts. I liked it!  

Monday I ran in the morning and I ate very little cause I knew we were going out to dinner that night.  We also had wedding cake to eat!   We went out for Vietnamese food.   I'm seriously disappointed by the increase Tuesday morning.  It doesn't make sense mathematically.  But it is what it is.   I'm starting to wonder if I will ever get back in the 170's for a whole week.  In a week or two I will be getting measured by my new trainer, so hopefully the inches are down and the weight is just muscle.  But I suspect I'll be holding steady. 

Speaking of wedding cake. . . 

Our cake still tasted AMAZING!   Even a year later. . .

I cannot wait to order a fresh cake from the bakery next year.  They make the most fabulous cake!  The white flavor has a hint of almond extract, which I LOVE!!!

So . . . also on Monday I made cupcakes to bring to work yesterday.  Amazingly enough I didn't eat a single one on Monday.  Like I said I knew we were going to dinner and I knew we had cake.  I never bring something for people that I haven't taste tested but this time I did.  I mean I tasted the batter and the icing just a smidge, but that is not the same as the real thing.

The recipe was rather complicated and everything was made from scratch.  I left one cupcake at home to split with my hubby last night.  I certainly had to at least taste the finished product.  Well curiosity got the best of me at work and I ate a cupcake after lunch.   They were pretty dense and heavy as I find most homemade cakes are.  However, I wanted to look up a comment in the recipe about the cake flour.  So I pulled up the recipe online and that's when I saw. . . . um . . . the nutritional stats.  I'm not sure how I missed that before. . .

Ok so that didn't upload so well. . . 510 cals per cupcake!!!  OMG OMG OMG!   I wanted to gag.  It felt like I had a lead brick in my stomach. I have no idea how many cals I thought there would be, but I would have rather had something else for that amount of cals. . . like chocolate or a slice of pizza.  Holy crap! 

For those that are curious: White Chocolate Truffle Cupcakes

So last night my hubby cut the cupcake in half and I refused.  I had to get a grip on the scale and that worked out fairly well this morning even though I'm up from last Wednesday.  But I'm proud of myself for refusing.  

Today's struggle: Imo's Pizza. I have a lunch date and I should get a chef salad and not pizza.  Can I manage that? 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pretty good week!

It's time for my Wednesday weigh in. I'm down 3.2 lbs! :)

I cannot tell you how excited I am to see 178 on the scale. This is within my maintenance range. The relief I feel is pretty dang good. I like seeing that my body wants to be at this weight again. I'm mentally happy between 176-178. And I'm just slightly uncomfortable from 178-180. But above 180 really stresses me out. Now I have no clue about this fat monitor.

Technically that's a 0.2% increase from last week. I have trouble believing that with a 3.2 lb loss . But ok. The numbers are what they are. I want to get my fat % to 25% but I'm wondering how realistic that is? It should be attainable, but maybe I don't really know how to get the fat % down. I assumed losing weight would also drop that number. *shrug*

So here are the numbers since last week:

Hmm that looks a bit blurry when uploaded. I'm not sure why. The middle column of numbers is my average weight for the month. Then you have my gain or loss. The last column is fat % which I only do on Wed. I like seeing 4 days in a row in the 170's! This was just a good week for me. Last wed was really painful. I totally pigged out. Then I ran 3 miles and had a training session that day. I burned 1000 cals according to my heart rate monitor. Even though I got control of my eating that afternoon, I still went up a whole lb! Darn it. I buckled down and got back on track. The increase on the 26th. . . that's Monday morning. I ran 5 miles on Sunday morning. I'm still learning how to feed myself when I run. Especially on the long 5 mile days. I went up 0.8 last monday after my sunday 5 mile run. There's something to that I think. I talked to my trainer a bit about how to eat when running. This Sunday I just felt a bit weak all day on Sunday and just enough off balance with my body. It was hard to describe. I honestly don't think I eat enough on those 5 mile days. But I also think I need to work on timing of my food. I run on an empty stomach first thing Sunday morning. I prefer to run on an empty stomach, but that may not be the best idea. I guess I could also be slightly dehydrated since it is first thing in the morning. I don't drink water before heading out. Why? Cause water goes right through me and I am afraid I'll have to pee too badly while running! So I think I'm really just not doing the right thing. I need to work on that. This coming weekend might not show the best results though. Our 1 year anniversary is Monday so we will be celebrating this weekend. I mean we have year old wedding cake to eat! LOL! :)

Speaking of wedding cake, let's just take a look at my wedding cake:

I confess it made me super sad to cut that gorgeous thing! The top is supposedly at my parents house in the freezer. I almost wish we didn't save the top. I would have ordered a small cake from the same bakery and had a nice fresh cake! I plan on doing that next year, and the next year and the year after that! :)

One thing that I changed this week is on Thursday I started writing down what I eat. Admittedly I'm not 100% perfect. Some things sneak in that I don't write down. Mostly though I try really hard to track. I write down when I wake up, when I eat, when I finish a bottle of water. . . .

I don't track stats such as cals, fat, protein. I use to do this daily via sparkpeople. I stopped doing that and for some reason I can't seem to get myself back to that. This is my compromise. Those papers live in my purse and I just write what I eat. I'm not too worried about analyzing it because obviously this week I did well. If I struggle with the number on the scale then I'll analyze what I'm eating. The goal right now is to just be aware of it. So far I think it's helping.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Working on speed and pace

Last week I was doing a treadmill run at my gym. My trainer came up to me and started chatting. I was running at a speed of 5.0 or a 12 min mile. I realize that's slow given my times outside, but it's where I start on the treadmill. He is encouraging me to go faster. And he looked at my display and said "humor me since I'm here and bumped me up to 5.4". He said I can start faster than I do. So I've been thinking about that. . .

Friday as I was leaving work dressed in my gym clothes I realized I didn't want to run on the treadmill. I wanted to run outside. I was only doing 3 miles, but I just wanted to go home. I rarely get to go straight home from work. I'm either going to the gym, the barn or even once a month or so getting a massage. The problem with going home on Friday night? A storm was coming and it was coming fast. I decided I would run at home anyways and if I got wet or had to run less then oh well. For my mental health I just wanted to go home.

So I get home and immediately strap on all my running crap and off I go. There are black clouds in the distance. There is lightening not too far away. I decide that I'm staying on my side of the block in case I need to get home quickly. We live basically smack dab in the middle of the block. Each side is a mile long so we are at the .5 mile mark. So I turn left and go to the end, turn around and go to the other end, then turn around and go back to the first end and then turn around and go back to my drive. Make sense?! LOL. I was running FAST! My GPS had trouble working on a good day so it did not work at all under the storm clouds. My heart rate watch has a stop watch on it. It seems my first mile was 10:15. It's possible my 2nd was 10:55. The third was PAINFUL. I got a side stitch. The wind picked up and it was colder and it started spitting rain. I pushed through and got back to my drive at 29:45. That means my avg pace was UNDER 10 min. I have dreamed of a 10 min mile. But I never imagined going faster than that. I truly wish my GPS had worked.

On Sunday I ran around the block and this was only my second time running 5 miles. The last time my GPS didn't start when I did, so once it did I started over, but my stats aren't even worth talking about since they don't cover the full 5 miles. I do know I ran slow. This time I did 5.15 miles in 56 mins. Runkeeper logged 5.14 but when I hit stop on my phone it said 5.15. *shrug*My avg pace was 10:54 Here are my splits:

My GPS talks to me every 1/4 mile and tells me my total time and avg pace. I knew I was going faster as I ran. I purposely slowed down the last mile. That portion has a hill on it that, while not huge, certainly does challenge my heart rate. But my last mile was a full min faster than my first. I'd like to be more consistent.

So yesterday I killed my legs. I had a lunge lesson on a horse at my barn. My horse is off at my trainer's remember. And he is NOT a good lunge lesson horse. My trainer comes for clinics on certain mondays. So I borrowed a horse and had a lunge lesson. For those that don't know basically you start with no reins. . . then after a few mins of warm up for you and the horse and stretches for you, you take away the stirrups. The horse is attached to my trainer and works in a circle around him. I have to do crazy stuff like ride all three gaits with my arms straight up over my head. Or maybe with arms doing backwards windmills with the arms opposite each other. Last night I had to do those windmills and also alternate my feet between pointing and flexing. And then I had to do the downward transitions from canter - trot and trot - walk while maintaining the windmills and feet flexing. What I mean is I had to tell the horse to change gaits. In general during a lunge lesson the person in the middle tells the horse what to do. It's really hard to tell the horse to change gaits while maintaining windmills and feet flexing! Wow. I'm not all that coordinated. This lesson challenges your abs as those muscles keep you on the horse. Your legs do too, but not to the extent you may think. For example I had to ride all three gaits with my legs pulled out and away from the horse. So my butt was touching the horse. :) What happens to my legs is they stretch out. They get longer. They don't get to grip like I might when I'm really riding with stirrups. They start to burn :)

Then I drove straight home and I ran 3 miles. I believe in always running the day after my long run. Fatigue the legs is what I've read. Today should be my day off and it is from running but I have a training session at the gym. So my mom was coming over after my run and so mentally I knew I'd run fast. My GPS managed to start when I did (I love that!) I did 3.0 miles exactly. Total time was 32:07 and my avg pace was 10:43. A sub-11 pace! I like that. I'd like that to be my new permanent pace. Normally I'm well in the 11's. But this is 2 runs with a sub-11. I like that. Here are the splits:

Now that is consistent! I'm happy with that!!!! Once I got in my groove I tried to keep the GPS around 10:48 as the avg. I would "think" I was slowing down and so that's how I actually ended up with a lower avg. But I'm really happy with those times! That's a consistent run. Now if I can commit that feeling to memory.

I slept like a freaking baby with the exception of like 5 trips to the bathroom. I didn't drink enough water Sunday after my run. I committed a sin and had soda that day. So I made up for it yesterday. My legs felts like jello all night. This morning it took great effort to move them. They were and still are very very tired. But it's a good feeling! No pain no gain!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I'm a runner!

Never in a million years would I have thought I would say that. I'm a runner! It feels so foreign.

This weekend I was talking to a friend that I hadn't talked to in a while. Unlike most of my friends she is never ever on FB. So she has no idea that I started running. I mentioned that the day prior I ran in the fog and my hair got so wet. She said you run now? I replied, yes I'm a runner. And that was so weird.

When I was in Jr High we had "conditioning" in PE class. Every two weeks we had to run a mile. I think we had 20 mins to do this. Which is probably an avg mile walk pace. I would start running like the rest of the class. Then of course because I was out of shape and a bit chubby I'd get a side stitch and I'd walk. But I would try to alternate walking and running. But I would get this horrible itchy heat rash type thing on my legs. It was horrible. I'd have to walk while scratching my thighs the whole time. The more I scratched the worse it got, but I couldn't NOT scratch. As a result I've never really exercised outside. Once I got to an age where I wanted to work out I joined a gym. I've always feared working out outside because I hated this rash! I didn't know what caused it. It was annoying. It would only happen if I really exerted myself. General PE type sports didn't do it, but the running did. In college I took yoga and horseback riding as my PE classes. This has never ever happened while riding. Not once. A few years ago I got curious and tried to google this issue. The best I could find was exercise induced urticaria. *shrug* I read posts from people that experienced this. The best "cure" I could find was to take an antihistamine prior to exercising. So with this in mind I never ever thought I would run. Ever.

In Jan I decided I wanted to sign up for a 5K. Worse case I walk the whole thing. I started running outside. . . but it was cold. So I thought maybe I wouldn't get the itchy rash thing unless it was hot enough. I don't remember specific details about when I'd get it when I was younger. So I pushed on. . . fearing the day the temps started to rise. Well summer is here. Yes I know it's spring but it's summer temps out there. We've had temps in the 80's. I've ran in these temps with no itchy rashes! YAY! Maybe I outgrew this? Maybe it is a result of being more fit? I don't know. I guess I don't care. I just hope that when the "real" summer gets here that I continue without the rash. *fingers crossed*

So I'm a runner. What makes me say that? The fact that I run at 7AM on weekends! OMG.

The fact that I want to get a run in almost every day. I don't obviously, but I do run about 5 days a week. However now that I have a new personal trainer that I meet with 2 times a week, I may cut the running back so that I can have a complete day off.

And then there is today. . . I totally went out of control and ate two doughnuts. We have customers here this week. They always eat at Thai House when they are in town. I asked when they were going as I wanted to go. I have no work friends so I rarely go out to lunch and when I do, no one wants to go to Thai House. They told me tomorrow was the day. Well that changed and at 11:15 I found out it was today. There was NO way I could eat those kind of carbs after what I ate this morning. Just no way. I even felt bloated. So I bailed. I went to the park and I ran three miles. Keep in mind that I have a session with my trainer at 5PM tonight. I just had to run. There was no other option. My body was screaming to run. So I ran. It stopped screaming at about 1.5 miles, but I pushed on! lol.

I have discovered that I hate running on tracks. The track at the park is a 1 mile loop (pavement). Until today the most I've done was 2 miles. Mostly due the time it takes and the time constraints of my lunch break. But today I decided I could stay late if necessary and I was going to do 3 miles. Now every time I've done 2 miles I've thought to myself "you can do one more." But by the time I get to the end of that 2nd lap there is just no way. It's become a nemesis. I'd rather run out and back like I do from my house than run the same loop three times. Blah! But I did it. And I'm happy I did. I burned 500 cal. Will that cover the doughnuts? Maybe. :) I'm going to be good the rest of the day. I said that in my earlier post and with TOM here, my pants are feeling mighty tight. lol

Again, it feels weird to say "I'm a runner".

Somedays I hate being a girl

Like when it's that time of the month and the scale just keeps on creeping up. I've tracked my weight in such detail that I know I gain when TOM is here. Blah! And it arrived yesterday, which set me up for failure for this week's weigh in.

I'm up 2.2 lbs. But I'm down .3% in fat. So possibly it's just water weight? Let's hope so. However, I'm sure to pack on the lbs after the last two days. My cravings have just been out of control and I'm eating. . . a lot. I'm embarrassed to admit I had two doughnuts today. But I need to figure out how to move on from that. Generally once I screw up the whole day is shot. I have a session with my new trainer at the gym. So I can redeem myself today. I'm going to go run at lunch. It's my punishment for eating. I can stay later at work today cause my session isn't till 5. So I'm going to try to get in 3 miles at lunch. 2 at the minimum. We'll see.

So the numbers are:
Wed: 179
Thurs: 180
Fri: 180.8
Sat: 179.4
Sun: 180
Mon: 180.8
Tues: 181.2
Wed: 181.2 (+2.2lbs)

The only plus I see from analyzing the numbers is that my highest weight is 181.2. . . and last week it was 183.4 So there's a definite improvement. Just writing this blog, that no one reads, helps motivate me to not throw in the towel for today. Just saying that I can regain control of this day is motivating to me. I CAN do this. I have to figure out what triggers binges and get them under control. End of story.

I accomplished a milestone this weekend. On Sunday I ran 5 miles! Woo hoo! I wanted to be running 5 miles before my 5K in April. So I will likely run that distance again this Sunday. I was super excited. I ran it really slow. I was at just over 12:00/mile. My GPS on my phone didn't start working for well over a mile. So I don't have good stats unfortunately. That was a big bummer for me since this was my first 5. But I didn't care how slow I went. I cared that I did it. :) Now I would like to increase my pace and I'm not too sure how I go about doing that. I'll have to research that.

I'm determined to have a better weigh in next week. :)