I'm losing control of my eating. There, I said it. It's like I'm either *really* good or I'm not. I can't find a happy medium. I know some of it is stress. But some of it is that I just don't care. I'm back up to 190 and that's stressing me out, but I don't know if I care "enough". Does that make sense? The stress in my life is just . . . a lot. . .
My husband apparently has a larger issue with alcohol than I knew. . . after he totaled his truck a month ago (at 3PM on a Monday afternoon!!!!!!), he's been in "rehab". What does that entail? Group therapy 3 times a week. . . which he pretty much thinks is a waste of his time. He's in a group with people with alcohol and drug issues. . . more drug than alcohol from what he tells me. And those drug people are your "classic" stereotypical drug users. . some with ankle bracelets on. . . most there cause it's court ordered. . . playing on their phones or even half asleep. My husband ain't got the patience for that crap and I know he feels like he doesn't fit in and it's a waste of his time. It's embarrassing to me to even write this blog. . . I'm so ashamed of where my life is right now. Living with this has been rough but to even realize that this issue is larger than I expected. . . has been . . . depressing to say the least. I'm pissed off. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm embarrassed. I'm in disbelief that this is my life and a large part of me wants out. I feel like this is more than I should say, but I also needed to get some of it out.
Over Labor Day weekend we went to Cincinnati. The trip almost got canceled because I came home to find my husband drinking a beer the night before we were suppose to leave. . . did I mention that I can't stand this is my life right now? This is going to sound crazy, but one of the reasons I wanted to go to Cincy was to go to Taste of Belgium. . . . I saw it on Diner's, Drive-In's and Dives. . . and since I "lived" in Belgium and I love their waffles. . . I wanted a "real" Belgium waffle. I got one. . . more than one. . .
They were oh so yummy! We brought 2 packs of 4 (yes that's *eight*) waffles home and topped them with ice cream. They were amazing and very authentic.
I discovered there was a Dover Saddlery just outside Cincinnati. So of course I got something for myself and my main boy. . .
And in other random news. . . just last night I jumped on the Lularoe bandwagon and I ordered my first pair of leggings. I hope they live up to all the hype.
So it's been a month since my last post and I'll probably see you again in another month because quite frankly my life is too depressing to write about. . .