I don't know if anyone reads this. I probably don't care. It's just an outlet for my own feelings. I am trying to decide whether to give up my riding hobby. This means however, that I do NOT give up my horse. I think that's where I'm torn. I love Eli. I promised him forever. I don't think he would be happy being retired. Here are my thoughts in terms of my current situation:
1) I could use the money (a lot of money) for another hobby (photography, jewlery. . . )
2) I spend a lot of money and I'm getting nowhere.
3) Because I'm getting nowhere I no longer enjoy riding.
4) I enjoy my lessons, but the riding in between is rarely as good and unfornuately the quality gap seems to be getting wider.
5) I feel like I resent the time this hobby requires to do it well
6) I hate my barn and most of the people in it.
7) I don't really think Eli is happy in any capacity
8) What do I do? Trail ride, retire him, lease him?? I just don't know.
9) If I keep hating it how long do I contiue?
10) If I do continue can I give it my all? Cause if I keep going I would like to show again someday (I think).
So I'm going to try to go full steam ahead until July 4th and make a decision then. In the meantime I'm open to all advice.