Monday, May 21, 2012

Bod Pod

What's a Bod Pod?

It's that thing!  LOL.  You sit inside after getting weighed by its associated scale.   Then it does something three times. . . at least the dude opens and close the door three times.  I read air pressure changes to measure you but I don't honestly know.  I didn't feel anything but I heard a few pops and hisses.  The whole thing takes maybe 2 mins.  You sit very still and breathe normally.

I did this Friday afternoon at my gym.  Cost me $60 but apparently it measures your body composition more accurately than anything else (like the hand held fat monitor I use).  And I believe the dude said it was FDA approved.  And since the FDA is so damn smart this thing must be the way to go eh?  Ha!  Oh and the guy in the photo - same dude that did my analysis. LOL.  They haul the thing around in this truck, so you do everything in the truck.

My results?

I weighed 184.7 on the scale at 4PM Friday.  Probably about right as I gain a couple lbs as the day goes on. But I was wearing almost nothing.  Tiny compression shorts that make me look FAT and a sports bra.  I'm 29.8% fat.  Which is interesting. . . I haven't used my handheld monitor in a while but that's about where it was the last time. (so much for being more accurate and he warned me that it would probably read higher since it can detect the deep down fat around your organs)  Now at 4PM if I use the same hand held monitor at the gym I will get a reading in the 30's but they are most accurate when you haven't moved much I think. So I do mine in the AM.   I was hoping that mine was reading high and I'd be much lower in the Bod Pod.  Darn it!   I have 55 lbs of fat on my body!

Now the kicker is that I'm considered "moderately lean".

I fall just below 30%.  Thank god!   LOL.  But I would not use the word "lean" to describe myself in any way, shape or form. No way!   My first goal is 25% fat and then I'll reassess from there.

The most interesting part of this study was that it tells me what my RMR is.  RMR = Resting Metabolic Rate.  I'm not sure how that's different from BMR, or Basal Metabolic Rate.  But I just assume they are similar.    The RMR is the amount of energy expended at rest.   Basically how many cals my body uses at rest for a day.

(Info sheet? What info sheet? I got one piece of paper)  My RMR is 1620 cals.  I have mixed feelings on this. My Dr told me I may be able to maintain weight on 1500 cals.  I scoffed at her cause I've read about BMR and there are calculators to figure out what yours is.  Mine was always higher than 1500.  So I assume that I should eat my BMR every day.   (RMR - whatever, again not sure what the diff is).   So I've never quite understood this.  This is basically an answer I was expecting. I couldn't remember what I'd figured in the past, but I didn't expect some stupid low number like 1200.  I think eating 1200 cals a day equates to starving. :)  I hate trying to do it and I'm a Bitch if I try.   The right side of this chart shows me my max cals based on my activity level.  Because I sit at a stupid desk all day I'm "Sedentary".   Therefore my max cals are 2009.  The guy said "so if you want lean out,, you need to eat in between this range".   Well nice Mr Bod Pod Guy but I figure that I basically do and I'm not leaning out.   So. . . I guess I gotta figure this out.

*pause in the programming*  

I just went to and my BMR = 1632.345
How similar!!!   So. . . what did I pay $60 for?  I'm still trying to figure that out.

*resume programming*

There are a multitude of other tests that they can do.  Including some weird oxygen test where they hook up to a mask and you exercise until . . . well I don't know, until they tell you to stop.  I saw a girl doing it in the gym a month or so ago.  I wouldn't know what to do with those results and I didn't want to spend the money.

So here I am with my 55lbs of fat and my daily allowed number of cals in black and white.  And of course I've gained some weight this weekend even with that 8 mile run!  Go figure. What I couldn't figure out was how to eat after that run.  I burned about 1550 cals.  So should I have added that to my 1620 and ate that much?  Some research tells me yes.  Or to eat at least half of what I burned.  Others say eat it all.  I don't know.   You certainly don't want your cals at the end of the day to be too low after putting your body through that.  I basically ate very little till dinner than we went out and I had a salad, BBQ chicken breast, a few french fries and apple pie and ice cream for dessert. I've been CRAVING apple pie out of this world. . . for weeks.  I finally thought the right day to eat it was the day I burned so many cals.   I felt less guilty and I was down 0.2 lbs the next day.  Then yesterday. .. well yesterday happened. HA!  More on that later.   For now I go back to pondering the Bod Pod results and what to do with them.  They advise a reassessment in 3 months and oh they have a deal for me!  All further reassessments are only $45.  Yippee!  Not sure if I will do it again.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

8.1 Miles!

Only 5 miles shy of a half marathon. LOL!

Yesterday I got the wild hair up my butt that I had to run 8 miles today.  No clue where I pulled 8 from, but something was telling me this.  I pondered it.  See I had to do my long run today instead of Sunday like normal because I have a photo shoot tomorrow morning and then all day plans after.   So I think about this ALL day yesterday and I decide sure - why not?

So last night I dug out the Gu I bought at a sports store about a month ago.  I froze a water bottle.  The whole time I felt strong!  Ha.  I wasn't doing anything but mentally I felt like I was ready for this.  I did not work out last night cause I knew I needed all my legs for this.

I started out a bit later than planned - 7:30.  I got hooked on Shades of Gray last night and I had to read a bit more this morning.  :)

I put my frozen water bottle at the end of the drive.  I'd pass my drive at the 5 mile mark.  It's a bit more humid again.  Off I go for the first 5 miles totally making sure my brain understands that I have to keep running after that 5 mile mark.  At mile 4 I decide to try Gu.  I have no clue what this stuff is like, but I read that the chocolate is very good.

Um this stuff tasted like chocolate frosting.  I wanted another!  So I keep running to the 5 mile mark wondering if it will kick in.  My mouth is now a bit sticky so I want water.  Mentally I hate stopping on runs. It makes the whole run "null and void" in my mind.  But. .. I have three miles to go. It's humid.  My mouth is sticky.  I pause my GPS and stop for lovely cold water.  

Of I go and my brain is now struggling.  The 1.5 mark where I turn back is so far away.  Maybe I should shoot for 7 miles?  After all 6.25 was my longest so far.  But no.  My body isn't hurting that much.  My brain is.  So I chug on.  Yay when I turn around at 6.5 miles.  I got this!  But boy oh boy the last 1.5 was TOUGH.  The last mile especially.  I could have walked faster than I was running I think.  Hell I'm pretty sure I have walked in the mall when on a shopping mission much faster than I was running. My legs were heavy but I had to get home.  And I did!  

My total time was 1:36:08.  Avg pace 11:53.  I did my first five with an avg of like 11:19 if I remember right.  But distance was the goal here. 

So my final thought of the day is "Who am I?"  Holy crap.  This girl that runs 8 miles?  I don't even know her.  I'm crazy!  And my knees are killing me!  I've iced them twice already today :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

An article to read

I was at the store last week and I saw the Newsweek Magazine

Eye Catching cover eh?   The magazine isn't that thick for the price.  I mean I'd pay $5 for Cosmo but Newsweek?  So I had a friend yank the magazine from an online "source".  LOL  I did manage to find the article online afterwards though.

I am not fortunate enough to have HBO or I'd have been glued to the documentary "The Weight of the Nation" that aired this week.  I'm sad I missed it.  I believe you can order it online eventually . . . I thought I saw it wouldn't be released till July.  I'll be over it by then. lol

One of the things I struggle with is what/how to eat.  I realize that I can't eat a lot of carbs.  That just doesn't agree with my body and I gain weight.  That's fine.  However, meat is something I think about ALL the time.  I love meat.  I eat chicken   Sometimes multiple times a day!   I bought "The China Study" and started to read it.  I didn't get very far but I could see that if I had I'd probably give up meat.  And then I'd probably be getting a divorce.  LOL.  I say that tongue-in-cheek but not really.  My hubby is a farm boy.  He was raised to have the steak and potato dinner.  While we've given up carbs at dinner I'm not sure we could live together if I gave up meat.  It's hard enough cooking for 2 but to cook 2 different things all the time?   *shrug*  

This article hints just a little bit at meat.  I had hoped it would talk more about it.  The Paleo Diet is huge right now and I'm wondering about it. . . a year ago I wasn't at the point where I could do a diet like that.  Since I've cut out a LOT of carbs I think maybe I could now. . . at least with minimal cheating. :)    From what I've read it sure does seem like America blew up when the "low fat" craze hit.  When you remove fat from something you have to replace it with something else.  And that replacement is fake shit.   I don't eat low fat. I eat cheese.  Twice a day generally.  And it's not low fat.   I add heavy cream to my yogurt to get more fat. It's hard to find full fat Greek Yogurt.  And while Fage has a version I'm not fond of the texture.  And so far I've been maintaining pretty well.  So I won't be trying a low-fat diet any time soon.  But really all this processed food is what is contributing to our problem.   At least it seems so. In the article there's a comment about how even though Americans are doing what the government has told them (low-fat, no meats, etc) we are still gaining weight.   Interesting huh?  So is meat really a problem?  Is it really so bad for us?  We were born to hunt and eat meat.  That's what the paleo diet is based on after all.  I don't think there were fat cavemen!   I walk into stores and there is so much JUNK.  It's gross.   I shop the perimeter of the grocery store and you can't even avoid it there anymore.   At Walgreens, the check out lady always asks me if I want to buy the candy bar on the counter.  They have this weird thing where she gets a nickle for everyone she sells.  It's a different variety every time I go in.   Junk is just pushed on  us everywhere!   Until that changes I think obesity will continue to rise.

Ok - I'm no expert and I don't pretend to be.  I just wanted to share the article and I'm going to keep reading and researching :)   Next up is researching about juicing.  I need to find a way to eat more veges and maybe a juicer is in my future?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Wednesday: Up a pound

I had such high hopes for this week's weigh in and I blew it.  I was doing SO good.   Last week I was 181.6.  This week I'm 182.6.   But I'm going to post the chart since last Monday - the 7th.  That's when I hit my panic weight remember.  Check out the numbers.  I really buckled down!

I was proud of myself through Sunday.  The Wham!   What happened you ask?   Well. . . I did really well at Mother's Day gatherings.   But it was the season finale of Once Upon A Time.  And I promised myself that if I did good all week I would have:

MIKE'S PLACE!!!!!  PIZZA!!!  This is a little dive bar in a small tiny little town.  The town doesn't have a gas station. . . I don't think there's a post office.  It has a few bars and a church.  All the best towns in IL only have bars and churches. LOL    Mike's Place has the best pizza and I'm currently addicted.  I live for the next time I can have it.  My trainer has said that one high calorie day is good for you when you do well the rest of the week.  So this was my genius plan.  And I think we can all see I did do well the entire week! Normally we order the pizza cooked.  This time I decided I wanted to try the take and bake.  I had hubby go get it that afternoon while I was at the barn.  That way we could time it perfectly and enjoy it while watching Once Upon A Time.  They tell you not to eat in front of the TV, but screw that.  We baked it on our pampered chef pizza stone and OMG!  This was like pizza utopia or something.  The crust was freaking amazing!   I drool just thinking about it now.  I ate three pieces.  I still thought this was ok though because I ran 5 miles that morning and burned 800 cals.  I was really good that day and I was starving.  And I did NOT have the coke I was craving.  Pizza and coke just belong together like Fred and Wilma.   

Well as you can see I jumped up Monday morning.  I wasn't too worried as I thought I could buckle down. But no... I had a bad eating day on Monday.  Then yesterday mother nature arrived and well. . . chocolate!  So here I am and it's Wednesday and I wanted to be in the 170's so bad and here I am again making no progress. 

What the hell is wrong with me?  I think I do have a bit of a plateau at that 179.  I think 180 is an old weight point for me.  I was maintaining at 176-179 for many months but I can't get back down there now.  I'm going to have to buckle down to get all the way to 170.  But I also wonder if it's a mental barrier as well.   Can I do it?  I think mentally I'm almost there cause I'm getting pissed. lol.  

So a question for those that have lost weight: when do you toss your old clothes?  I threw out a lot of my bigger clothing.  Like the 18-20's.  But I kept many 16's.   I'm in a 12/14 comfortably now and a 10 uncomfortably.  So I just couldn't part with the 16's in case. . . just in case. . . I don't know how strong my willpower is.  I don't know when my thyroid is going to whack out again.   I kept the dress clothes too because for crying out loud I rarely wear dress clothes! So if I do gain back I don't want to buy new dress clothes too.  However, my house is bursting at the seams.  And part of me wonders if I finally remove the clothing if my mental state would be a bit better?  Is it a crutch?  I don't know.  I've had it packed up (well most of it) for months and month now.  It's just something taking up space and I don't really "see" it as clothing.   I see it as clutter. So I'm pondering a big donation to Goodwill.  I don't know. . . 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Benefits of being sick

Weight loss!  LOL.   Ok so I wasn't really that sick.  Just sick enough to not "want" to eat much.  Yesterday I left work around 3:15 and made my way to Target to get some generic dayquil and nyquil.   I was in such a sick haze.  I really should have taken a temp yesterday but I never did.  I got my medicine and half-heartedly looked for a mother's day card for my mom.  I failed there, but did manage to get her a DVD she wants.  Starbucks is right across the street and I LOVE the banana chocolate smoothies.  They aren't really that bad for you.  They contain one whole banana, milk, ice, protein powder and some mocha syrup.  I use to make them myself at home.  I even bought the mocha powder from Starbucks so that it would taste as close to the same as possible.  I didn't eat my banana yesterday so I thought I'd treat myself to a smoothie.  Nice cold thick drinks are always yummy when you are sick.   I LOVED it!   Plus I needed the liquid as I wasn't drinking as much water as normal.

I got home and I took a nap!  I never nap.  Mentally I struggle with napping.  My brain can't relax.  It thinks that naps are a waste of time.   It took me probably a good 30 mins to fall asleep. My hubby came in at one point and while my brain was still "awake", my body was already falling and was in that zone where I couldn't move.  I heard him look at me.  Mr Blue (one of our cats) meowed.  He said "Shh. . ." and grabbed him and took him out and closed the bedroom door. :)   That cat can totally keep you awake if he wants to, but he's worse in the morning when he knows it's time to get up.  I slept till almost 7:00 I think. It felt great!

This morning I happily got on the scale because I knew I'd be down.  179!!!!!   Check out this chart since Monday's panic weight:

That's a loss of 6.6 lbs!  Crazy huh?  Some of that is temporary due to being sick I'm sure.  Though I really didn't rid myself of very much food in ways that you normally do when you are sick.  So we'll see.   Also this is right down at my plateau.  176-179 is honestly where I'm stuck.  It would be nice if I could see this kind of loss from the 179 mark, but I'm not holding my breath.  Why is 170 so unattainable?!   So now I feel human again today and I'm prepared to remain on track today so that I don't screw up a good thing.  It's easy to slip when you have some good numbers like this.   It's one of the things I'm working on.

So today I was poking around my computer here at work.  I found a photo that I thought was interesting and was good motivation for me today.  Every year in April I'm lucky enough to get to go to the Rolex KY 3 Day Event at the KY Horse Park in Lexington as a photographer.   For non horse people this is the biggest 3 day eventing competition hosted here in the US.  It's international level and this year it was part of the Olympic selection trials.  Major stuff going on here. :)  In 2010 a friend sent me a few photos she took of me.  I was in the ring that year for show jumping.  Only a select few photographers get to be in the ring during show jumping.  And since that year, for some reason it's less and less.  They've done away with the press pit they use to put in there.  No one from our group was in the ring this year.  When she sent me the photo I was appalled at how fat I was!  This was April 2010.  In 09 I gained 50 lbs cause my thyroid meds seemed to stop working.  If I remember right I did a detox starting the day after Easter that year.  So I had dropped a few lbs already before this photo was taken.  I had finally found a new Dr and this was right at the beginning of my weight loss journey and the path to finding a new solution for my thyroid.   So I pulled a photo off of FB from Rolex this year so that I could compare.  The photo from 2010 was taken from pretty far away as my friend was in her seat. . . so when cropping in it's bad quality.  And while it's not the best comparison photo, you get the idea.  

My all time high weight was 250.  So I'd guess I'm in the 240's there on the left.  This year at Rolex well you all know where I hover - 180-ish.  :)   Now that I'm thinking about it this is really a true representation of high and low.  While I hit 175 for a moment (75 lbs lost!) I say that I lost 70lbs since that's where my body seems to say.  This photo is as close as it gets.  I'll have to dig around and see if I can find any more comparisons.

On the right - I'm standing on a "Thera-Plate".   It vibrates like crazy.  It's suppose to help aches and pains.  I was standing there hoping to help my hip feel better.  Can't say it did much.  Maybe felt better for 30 mins. They make these for horses.  I think it's pretty impractical to own something like this, but I did get a name of someone that lives about 3 hours from me that has one.  I thought about seeing what my horse thinks about it. :)   We'll see. . .

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Wednesday Weigh - In

It's only Wednesday and I'm ready for this week to be over. OMG!  It's just been a rough week.  Work is sucking just a bit.  We have to dress up three (maybe 4) days this week.   We only dress up when we have guests, or the threat of guests!   Sometimes they don't come and most of the time I never see them even if they do.   Putting on jeans and t-shirt for work in the morning is WAY easier than dressing up.  It makes for rough mornings for me.

Yesterday I had a session with my trainer at the gym.  I was really tired going into it.  I felt blah.  He of course wouldn't have any of that, but I fought him and made him let me box which seems to entertain me and help with my mood.  I didn't have the best workout but I pushed through.  An hour after my workout I was at home and just got out of the shower when BAM!  I felt horrible.  I honestly thought I was going to pass out.  I thought it was low blood sugar.  My husband wasn't home yet and I generally try to eat dinner within an hour of working out.  I ate some watermelon when I got home though.  So while I was hungry, I didn't think I should be feeling like I did.  I choked down dinner.  I felt so weak I didn't want to be on my feet.  Then the tell-tale body aches started. Yup those body aches indicate a fever for me.  I had a low grade one.  I felt SO awful.  It was a rough night of sleep but I feel better today.  My stomach feels touchy though.  I need to eat breakfast but I'm afraid! lol.  This might make for a good diet day.  We'll see. . . sometimes when I don't feel good I eat things I shouldn't.   Specifically I drink things I shouldn't like chocolate milk and soda.  I think I can pull through this though.

Today the scale said 181.6.  Whew!  I dropped FAST from that 185.6.

There are the numbers in all their glory.  5/2 was last wed and 5/9 is today.   So even though my weight went all over the place, I'm down 1.2 lbs.  I guess. . . I can't commit to it cause my weight just goes up and down all the time.  A gain is never permanent but neither is a loss.  I'm really mentally fighting with myself.  I want to get down to the 176-178 range again and hold there.  That seems to be such a struggle since I started running. I ate really well these last 2 days and I'm hoping I can mentally push through for the week.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

If I Could Turn Back Time

Well I'm not sure what would happen.  I'd roll the clock back to the fall of 2008 and not take the riding lesson that ruined my hip.   That fall I had a lesson with my trainer's wife.  It was a lunge lesson.  For the non-horse people that read this blog that means I sat on the horse without reins and stirrups.  The horse was attached to a line held by the trainer and went in a circle around her.  I then work on myself and do all kinds of funny things with my body at all three gaits.   

This horse was wide. . . way wider than my skinny thoroughbred.   Just sitting on this horse really stretched my legs. When you are riding a horse without stirrups your legs really stretch down and your muscles really elongate.   It can be quite surprising what muscles get worked in your inner thighs when you do this.  You can really feel the burn!   Part of the lesson includes some stretching on the horse that you just can't mimic on the ground due to how you are straddling the horse.  At least I haven't found a way to duplicate it.  An exercise ball does NOT mimic a horse.  Trust me! :)   

The trainer wanted me to raise my legs up and off (away from) the horse.   The only way I can describe it is similar to how you would do the splits.  The legs come out and away from the body.  I found this very difficult at the time.  The horse alone was stretching my legs enough in my opinion.  He was just so WIDE!  I couldn't get my legs but like an inch from the horse.   "More!" she said.  I tried. I said "I can't".  I said "this horse is stretching me simply by sitting on him".  "More!" she said.  So I kept trying.  Thinking surely I can just do a bit more and we can move on.  And we did move on. . . 

A few hours after that lesson my right hip burned.  And if I remember right it basically burned every day for two weeks.  I think it subsided at night, but it's been so long I don't remember.  I remember seeing the trainer shortly after and she said "good that means we stretched something".  I wasn't so sure "good" was the word to use.   Over the course of the next few weeks/month my hip would hurt when riding that wide horse.  And sometimes my own horse.  Then it would hurt if I had days of lots of walking.  I sit at a desk all day.  So let's say on the weekend I did some serious mall shopping.  Or a day at the zoo.  I'd hurt so bad on those days!  Static standing also annoyed my hip. 

I went to my dr.  I had xrays.  I went to a chiropractor.  I went to a massage therapist.  I did physical therapy.  I had the stupid electrical tens machine (or whatever they call it) hooked to my hip after every therapy session.  I never had a diagnosis.  I did get my hip bursa injected at one point.  That helped for a while.  Drugs did not help.   At least not over the counter drugs.  When I found a new doc for my thyroid problem she gave me Celebrex and Tylenol with Codeine when we went to Europe in 2010.  The Celebrex had to be started a few weeks prior.  The Tylenol was for days if I over did it.  Both actually did relieve the pain for me.   

Recently the pain has been more noticeable.  Sleeping has been a challenge.  If there is one thing in the world I love and cherish dearly it is sleep!   This past weekend I really struggled and I woke up multiple times through the night in pain.  I took a Tylenol with Codeine one night, but it didn't help. Maybe they are a bit old? lol   We have a sleep number bed and I played around with that.  When we were on a trip in 09 I realized that the hard ass bed at the hotel really helped my hip the next day even though I woke up in back pain.  The good thing about that is my back relaxes as I move and feels better (the hip rarely feels better if I wake up in pain) and I went a whole day (with lots of walking) with NO hip pain.  WOW!   So I upped the number on my bed this weekend.  It didn't really help this time. I lowered it again Sunday night and the past two nights have been better. . . . but there are still some aches in that hip.  What scares me is that my other hip is aching at times too!  Compensation?  Maybe, but it worries me.   

I finally took the advice of my new Dr and I made an appt with an Orthopedic center.  I didn't use her referral but that of a friend that had hip surgery last year.  I'm going to Washington University Orthopedic center in St Louis.  A bit of a drive for me, but I think they are good at what they do.  The bad thing is the appt isn't until June 12th.  On that day I see a physiatrist first.  He will do range of movement tests (which I will pass!) as well as just an overall history and probably some poking, prodding (ouch!) and xrays.   Then at another appt (tick tock - this takes a lot of time!) I think I will have a CAT scan or MRI with some dye injected in my hip.  At least this is what my friend had done.  THEN depending on what that shows I can finally meet with a surgeon.  That's the worrisome part.  I'm not sure I want surgery.  My friend told me all the stuff you CAN'T do for weeks following.  Holy crap!   I'm already thinking of how much weight I will gain. Blah!   She told me her surgeon said if she hadn't come in when she did she would have had to have a hip replacement eventually.  Double Holy Crap!  That scared me into making the appt.  I'm 33.  I do NOT want a hip replacement.  EVER.  It's bad enough I feel like I'm 60 some days when I get out of bed.   

Anyways, I've never really talked about this issue to this extent.  My appointment is just over a month away and while I can't wait, I'm nervous as heck.  And of course it's in the middle of the day and this just eats away at my PTO.  Ugh.  

So before I go I will say I'm down 2.6 lbs this morning and weighed in at 183!  Whew.  But still that's too high for me.  So I will repeat how I ate yesterday and see what happens tomorrow.  I was really proud of how well I ate.  I didn't have a single bite of chocolate till after dinner!  go me! 

Here is a motivational blog for you all to read - I quite enjoyed it.  Very true:

Monday, May 7, 2012

Panic Button!!!!!

Oh my!  I don't know where to begin.  I missed 2 Wednesday blogs so let's start there. 

4/25/12 - I left for a trip this day and my weight was 180.8  - down 0.8 from the previous Wed.
5/2/2012 - 182.8 (UGH!)

So that brings me to today.  I hit my panic weight this morning.  That magical number has been 185 for me.  The max weight I'd hit this year was 183.6 and I was trying to be ok with that.  I knew with running I could gain weight.  I read about it all over the internet.   I tried to swallow my disappointment and push through.  Then Sunday I was at 184.8.  WHY?  I ran Saturday.  I ate well.   Or so I thought.   I ignored it.  Yesterday morning I ran.  I did 5 miles. But I implemented the run/walk method.  It was so crazy humid here and I wasn't acclimating well.  The only way I could make 5 was to walk at some point.  So I ran 0.9 miles and walked 0.1.  I watched another blogger do this and it was working well for her.  So off I went with my RunKeeper app set to alert me of the intervals.  I actually ran the last 0.1 cause I was close to home and made myself. :)  LOL.  I have no idea if this affected my overall pace.  The other blogger hasn't noticed it affect hers. My pace was a min slower than normal, but I was running so slow!  I mean I really am struggling with this weather.  So I couldn't judge what the walking did for me.  But I spent over an hour outside in the heat and humidity and I burned at least 800 cals!  (I don't remember what my watch told me.  I was too happy to be home in the AC to care!).

So I really watched what I ate yesterday.  Sure I had some chocolate.  But I burned some serious cals.  And I didn't have that much.  But wow oh wow.  The scale was sure unhappy with me this morning. 

185.6!!!!!!!!!  TIME TO PANIC!

I have no idea why this is.  I don't know what to do.  I really really really do NOT want to do another round of my diet.  But I will if I have to I guess.  I need to get a grip on this.  Do I need to stop running?  I know someone that lost more weight when they didn't work out.  But then you are just fat-skinny.  I like muscle!   I'm really struggling with this today.  It's like someone died.  I'm just a complete emotional mess!   And yes I want to drown my sorrows in fatty foods and chocolate.  I need to get a grip.  I need you all to smack some sense in me.  I have to buckle down.  I need to lose weight on my own.  Period.  Without doing another round of my diet.  I need to figure this out with eating right and exercising.   I need to stop making excuses.   I need to do this!  I can do this!   

That's this month's spreadsheet.  Again the avg is not cumulative - it starts over every month.  I guess I need to work on figuring out how I can change that.  I have nothing else to say.  I'm just staring at the numbers.  I need to figure something out.   And FAST!