Monday, May 7, 2012

Panic Button!!!!!

Oh my!  I don't know where to begin.  I missed 2 Wednesday blogs so let's start there. 

4/25/12 - I left for a trip this day and my weight was 180.8  - down 0.8 from the previous Wed.
5/2/2012 - 182.8 (UGH!)

So that brings me to today.  I hit my panic weight this morning.  That magical number has been 185 for me.  The max weight I'd hit this year was 183.6 and I was trying to be ok with that.  I knew with running I could gain weight.  I read about it all over the internet.   I tried to swallow my disappointment and push through.  Then Sunday I was at 184.8.  WHY?  I ran Saturday.  I ate well.   Or so I thought.   I ignored it.  Yesterday morning I ran.  I did 5 miles. But I implemented the run/walk method.  It was so crazy humid here and I wasn't acclimating well.  The only way I could make 5 was to walk at some point.  So I ran 0.9 miles and walked 0.1.  I watched another blogger do this and it was working well for her.  So off I went with my RunKeeper app set to alert me of the intervals.  I actually ran the last 0.1 cause I was close to home and made myself. :)  LOL.  I have no idea if this affected my overall pace.  The other blogger hasn't noticed it affect hers. My pace was a min slower than normal, but I was running so slow!  I mean I really am struggling with this weather.  So I couldn't judge what the walking did for me.  But I spent over an hour outside in the heat and humidity and I burned at least 800 cals!  (I don't remember what my watch told me.  I was too happy to be home in the AC to care!).

So I really watched what I ate yesterday.  Sure I had some chocolate.  But I burned some serious cals.  And I didn't have that much.  But wow oh wow.  The scale was sure unhappy with me this morning. 

185.6!!!!!!!!!  TIME TO PANIC!

I have no idea why this is.  I don't know what to do.  I really really really do NOT want to do another round of my diet.  But I will if I have to I guess.  I need to get a grip on this.  Do I need to stop running?  I know someone that lost more weight when they didn't work out.  But then you are just fat-skinny.  I like muscle!   I'm really struggling with this today.  It's like someone died.  I'm just a complete emotional mess!   And yes I want to drown my sorrows in fatty foods and chocolate.  I need to get a grip.  I need you all to smack some sense in me.  I have to buckle down.  I need to lose weight on my own.  Period.  Without doing another round of my diet.  I need to figure this out with eating right and exercising.   I need to stop making excuses.   I need to do this!  I can do this!   

That's this month's spreadsheet.  Again the avg is not cumulative - it starts over every month.  I guess I need to work on figuring out how I can change that.  I have nothing else to say.  I'm just staring at the numbers.  I need to figure something out.   And FAST!


  1. Hey Hoof. First of all . . . STOP. I know how you beat yourself up. It's not that bad.

    We are all here for ya, girlie. This too can change.

    Have you tried eating clean for a while? You can also do a P3 correction day as well. I know you're no longer on protocol and are basically in the lifetime phase, but it may work. You know how to knock these pounds off.

    However, I must say I am not a runner. Therefore, someone else may be able to give you advice on how that works. I just know, Dannee is not that type of expert.

    But . . . you can do this. Just find your center, dear friend. There's no need to panic. Just calm down and relax. Know that these pounds will shed.

  2. You can do it!~ we all have crazy gains, just keep up the great work have faith in yourself and keep moving forward.