Friday, May 6, 2011

To make changes?

I don't know if anyone reads this. I probably don't care. It's just an outlet for my own feelings. I am trying to decide whether to give up my riding hobby. This means however, that I do NOT give up my horse. I think that's where I'm torn. I love Eli. I promised him forever. I don't think he would be happy being retired. Here are my thoughts in terms of my current situation:

1) I could use the money (a lot of money) for another hobby (photography, jewlery. . . )

2) I spend a lot of money and I'm getting nowhere.

3) Because I'm getting nowhere I no longer enjoy riding.

4) I enjoy my lessons, but the riding in between is rarely as good and unfornuately the quality gap seems to be getting wider.

5) I feel like I resent the time this hobby requires to do it well

6) I hate my barn and most of the people in it.

7) I don't really think Eli is happy in any capacity

8) What do I do? Trail ride, retire him, lease him?? I just don't know.

9) If I keep hating it how long do I contiue?

10) If I do continue can I give it my all? Cause if I keep going I would like to show again someday (I think).

So I'm going to try to go full steam ahead until July 4th and make a decision then. In the meantime I'm open to all advice.


  1. I read it! I read it! :o)

    One of the reasons I gave it up was because I simply couldn't afford to ride at the level I wished to. I was at the point with Norman where the only way we were going to get any further was if we both went into full training. I could barely afford to haul him out for a monthly lesson. Showing was a laughable goal. I felt like we had hit a wall and the only way we were going to get over it was by forking out $$$.

    Meanwhile I had started to do agility with Luke and was experiencing the joy & rush of daily progress. Obviously I found that more appealing than going nowhere with my riding, so I found myself spending more and more time doing "dog stuff" vs. horse stuff.

    I suppose my relationship with Sar was probably more like yours with Eli, though. I felt the same way, that I would never sell him. He was my first horse, I made him put up with a lot and I figured I owed him. He was very happy retiring to the life of a trail horse. He never liked dressage very much, anyhow. He wasn't very happy when I moved him outside 24/7, but he got used to it and I think it was better for him in the long run (although the last part of his life was spent in a paddock/stall due to not being able to get enough to eat out with the herd -- but that was when he was 28!).

    You've been talking like this for quite a while. Just saying.

  2. Oh yeah I know I have. The problem is I love my trainer and I LOVE my lessons. I get hopeful during lessons, so then I think that I can actually get somewhere. I've also found some other things that interest me, so that makes me want to spend less and less time at the barn. . . *shrug* I think in order for me to get better I need to fork over money too. Though I did put Eli in full training at that got me no where. lol. So who knows. I'm giving myself till July 4th. E is not ready to retire. So that measn that I'll have to find something to do with him ya know? He would not be happy retired.