Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I'm tired. I'm tired of the day to day grind. I'm tired of feeling like I "have" to ride. I'm tired of all the money spent. . . spent faster than the results coming in. I know I've made progress. I love my horse. I love my trainer. I don't want to give any of them up, but at the same time I don't know how to do this half way. Recently I've not been going to the barn nearly as often as "normal". Eli was ridden twice(?) in the last week. Once I was on him for maybe 5 mins and I got off. I just didn't want to. One day I pulled all my tack out of the tack room, then sat down to talk to people and never rode. I'm so overwhelmed with everything else going on in my life. I'm wondering if something has to give? And if so, what? I will keep Eli forever. There is no question about that. I don't know how to not do riding at the level I've always done. Riding 4 -5 times a week and going to the barn 6 days a week. I don't know how to lower that and be "OK" with it. Maybe because my board is so much money that I feel like I have to get something out of it. I'm just lost right now. . .