Monday, August 8, 2016

How much time?

Last week sucked.  I didn't really speak to my husband all week.  After our issues Monday night when I showed up at the park and found him with a beer in his hand. . . I was just too done to talk.  Sometimes you're just talked out.  At least with beating the same issues.   I met my brother in law Tuesday night and talked to him. . . trying to get some advice.  It was good to chat and also good to enlighten him on some things.   Hopefully he tells the family some of these issues (the lack of communication and lies) because as the in-law I'm the bad person.  

This weekend was homecoming in my town.  If you drink, this is the place to be.  How can you pass up buckets of beer?  Yes literally - they sell buckets and fill them up with beer.  If you have kids, this is the place to be.  There is a parade 2 out of 3 of the nights, along with rides, games, fair food, 4H projects/animals. . .    But if you are me. . . this is the place you avoid. Especially when it's your 20 year high school reunion.   But also when you know your husband can't have any fun when you are around.  So Friday night I did this:

Darn right!  I stayed in a hotel all by myself so that I wouldn't have to worry about when he came home, how much he had to drink and I could actually sleep.  Cause my brain won't stop listening for someone if I know they are coming home.  So I toss and turn. . . .  So Friday night I waited till about 5pm, after I knew he left for the homecoming/tractor pull and I went home, made a hotel reservation, packed a bag and high tailed it out of town.  My parents took care of giving my cat her 9pm meds.   I got decent sleep.  I suppose I was still kind of worried about his lousy ass.   I had pizza for dinner. . . 

A week or so ago I was talking to a coworker about how the personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut are the best.  Perfect size, perfect ratio of everything.  Do you remember being in Book Club back in grade school.  I don't remember exactly how it worked, but I remember you read so many books and you earned a free personal pan pizza.  Ahh the memories!  I loved earning that dang pizza.  I was so excited to go get it.  This really threw me back to my childhood. 

So I turned my phone off, read my kindle and eventually went to sleep - sideways on the kind size bed!  Heaven!  I made myself stay in that bed past 7am. :)  Sleeping in is hard for me.  I turned on my phone. . . nothing - not a single text, no FB message. . . I logged into our Sprint account to see if there was an attempted call to my phone on my husband's line.  I figured it would have went to VM and would have atleast registered a 1 min call on his line.  Nope.  Nothing.  I went to the hotel gym, ran 3 miles, showered and then enjoyed the free breakfast that is Ah-mazing at the Drury.  Yes I stay at a Drury whenever I can.  I love those hotels. 

I packed up and drove back towards home - passing home and going to the barn to ride Eli.  Once I left there I went to Kohl's (oh I did go to Kohl's the night before in the town where I stayed.  Why not check out another Kohl's?  I love that place).  I got a Frosty at Wendy's.  Then I stopped by my parents for about a half hour.  Now it's 2;30 pm.  Who has called me?  Who has texted me?  Not my husband.  Nope.  I really thought about staying out another night.  Clearly he doesn't care.  But homecoming was still going on and I was concerned if my cat would get her meds.  If it wasn't for my Sophie girl I would not have went home.  So I get home just after 2:30 and the first thing I ask him is when was he ever going to check on me.  He claims 3:00 pm.  I call bullshit.   How much time would I have had to be gone before he'd call???  how much time would you have to be gone before your significant other would call you?  One of the workers at my barn asked me if I'd ever done this before?  Nope!  Never.  He's always known where I was.  So it was an out of the ordinary thing.  

Clearly we got issues.   Clearly I don't know what to do.   He's in therapy and I'm trying to be patient, but the patience is wearing thin.  It might be time to move on.  

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